CHAPTER ONE
Ted had gone off to work as usual that day. Debra, on the other hand, was numb and could hardly function. The thought of eating breakfast made her sick to her stomach.
She was dragging herself through her morning routine. She had been so preoccupied she hadnt slept well for days. When would be the best time to ask? What would she say? How would he answer? That one scared her the most. Or worse would he even answer? Lately, hed become almost impossible to talk to.
Shed finally done it and now she felt even worse.
Do you feel like you have to work really hard to keep this marriage going? Debra had asked Ted that morning as he was pulling on his socks.
Without hesitation, he had said, No.
Then why do I?
He had barely glanced at her as he walked into the bathroom. Stunned, she had walked away. She felt as if they were barely surviving. How was she going to make their relationship work without his help?
How could he NOT realize there was a problem? Nohe knew it was bad. He certainly didnt look happy to her. Ted had always been easygoing and quick to smooth ruffled feathers rather than get involved in conflict. Lately, he didnt seem to care about anything but work. His sandy brown hair was now marked with salt and pepper gray and his face was often lined with tension. If and when he mentioned work, he spoke through clenched teeth.
She wasnt sure exactly when they started the downward slide sometime after Teds promotion and transfer to San Diego just over one year ago. Debra couldnt remember the last time she and Ted had enjoyed each others company. She couldnt even remember the last time she had had kind thoughts about him!
Almost every morning, Debra told herself, Im going to be less demanding. Ill be more cheerful. Todays going to be a better day for us. But, somewhere before the end of the day, usually earlier than later, shed get frustrated and lose her resolve. Things couldnt continue this way!
Debra showered, applied mousse to her medium length sandy colored hair, and lightly tossed her natural curls before getting dressed in her office clothes. As her blue eyes looked back into the mirror, she hardly noticed her appearance. She had always been a low maintenance woman. Her frame was average, with pleasant curves where they counted most. She could possibly lose five pounds or so, but Ted had always said he didnt like women built like boys, and she had never worried about losing the extra inches.
She hurried downstairs where she joined their two children, Jonathan and Leanne, in the kitchen. Jonathan, a tall gangly redhead, with blue eyes and a freckled nose, was cramming his mouth full of toasted frozen waffle as he grabbed his lunch out of the fridge. Leanne looked at him with disgust as she nudged past him and picked up her lunch bag. She was a first year senior and, at times, was appalled by her brothers early adolescent behavior.
Debra ended up dumping most of her breakfast in the garbage disposal before heading out the door. As she drove down the block, she noticed Leanne had met up with a couple of her friends who walked to school together every morning. Despite her lithe figure, long brown hair, and brown eyes, Leanne was modest about her appearance and was well liked.
Jonathan was straggling down the sidewalk all by himself. He was thirteen and was at a difficult age in terms of finding his place among his peers. He was only just starting to make friends since their move.
Debras desk phone rang steadily from the moment she arrived at work. She meanwhile typed agendas and a multitude of workshop handouts. She delivered the originals to printing for reproduction and then made phone calls to book conference rooms at Marina Village and ordered food and beverages for workshop participants. Fortunately, she didnt have time to think about the mess her marital relationship was in.
When she got home, she threw a load of laundry in the washer, tidied up the family room, and made dinner. She was folding laundry when Ted arrived home shortly after seven oclock that evening. Jonathan was playing computer games in his bedroom and Leanne was at a friends home working on a group school project. They had already eaten dinner. Ted took the plate shed prepared for him and walked over to the couch where he sat down and turned on the television.
Ted, we have to talk.
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