LEAVING THE BODY BEHIND
4/11 Naneki: Cora, am I really speaking to you?
Cora: Yeah, Bench Angel, absolutely. Im bursting with energy. Im bursting with the good news that there is no death. Im alive and well. Im free of the body and Im flying. Holy cow, its amazing how free I feel.
Naneki: Linear, practical, curious me. I want to know about so much. I want to know everything thats happened and is happening to you.
Cora: Ask me anything. As usual, Ive got so much to say.
Naneki: Can we start from the beginning of the end and then the new beginning?
Cora: We can start from anywhere.
Naneki: What was it like when you were, well, the last day, probably two days when the morphine really zapped you? Were you upset that you werent so conscious, to us at least?
Cora: You remember how itchy I was. I wanted to get out of bed, out of the chair, out of the body. I felt as if I were suffocating, literally. My brain was shutting down. I was scared, too. You know I didnt like being unable to think clearly. I kept spacing out. I felt this gaping void between my conscious mind and some dark unconscious. I felt as if I was going to fall in this hole that had no end.
Naneki: Did you fall in a hole?
Cora: Yes and No. When I was afraid, I was in this dark hole. When I wasnt afraid, the atmosphere lightened up. I could see things like figures moving as if behind some kind of lacy curtain or veil.
Naneki: Did that spook you out? The veil, I mean.
Cora: No. I was curious. I chose the ghostly figures over blackness. Id had enough of the blackness when I was depressed. I held onto the lighter side. I even called out to whoever was there, if there was anyone.
Naneki: Did anyone respond?
Cora: Not at first, because I didnt stay in that space long enough. I kept shifting. My consciousness kept shifting from there to the hospice room to the blackness.
Naneki: Where did you most want to be?
Cora: At first, at the hospice. The room, with you, Bob, David, Linda, Casey and the nurses. You all were familiar, comforting.
Naneki: When did that change?
Cora: Probably when they increased the dosage. Then I slipped more into either the blackness or the place with the curtain.
Naneki: Did anyone ever respond to you from, well, I guess it sounds as if they were behind this curtain.
Cora: Yes, once I relaxed. I guess the drug helped with that. I lost consciousness of my body form more and more. The blackness was less and the curtain came closer. Naneki: Did you talk with anyone?
Cora: A couple of figures, you might say, materialized a few times.
Naneki: Were they human-like?
Cora: They werent aliens or bugs. Nothing scary. Id call them angels, although I didnt notice any wings. They were dressed in white. One was a man, the other a woman.
Naneki: What did they say?
Cora: They didnt say anything with their mouths. I heard them in my head. It was as if they were singing to me. Quiet, peaceful sounds.
Naneki: Did you know them? Recognize them? Were they familiar, the figures that is?
Cora: Yes and No. Yes, the sounds were familiar. Not tunes I know. Familiar in a deep knowing sense. No, the faces of the figures werent familiar. I couldnt see them clearly.
Naneki: How long did you stay near them or they near you?
Cora: I dont know. Time didnt matter. The sounds helped me to relax.
Break for a few days.
4/16 Naneki: Im sorry I cut out on you for so long. I actually got a little scared. I couldnt believe I was communicating with you. Mother Mary assured me that I was. Funny, I can accept that I channel her, but my bench pal, my angel buddy? Its wild somehow. Hard to fathom. It shouldnt be. Remember my friend, Joseph, hes the only one Ive told. He encouraged me/us to continue.
Cora: Im glad. Its odd. Theres no time here. Its as if we hadnt stopped communicating. Well, maybe not so surprising. We never stopped communicating in life despite the time and distance.
Naneki: Things or events or whatever have been happening, but they have no time frame?
Cora: Yes, I guess so. It just doesnt feel like it.
Naneki: What does it feel like?
Cora: Slow and easy. No time constraints. No plans. Ha! Thats a new one on me. Remember what I said to you?
Naneki: You asked me, What are your plans?
Cora: You said, I have no plans.
Naneki: Then you said either, No plans are good, or Plans are good. They were your last words to me.
Cora: No plans are good. I must have been close to leaving. My mind somewhere else. I couldnt plan anything in that state. Phew. You must have known something, been right where I was.
Naneki: Maybe. Having no plans was true the instant I said the words. I then realized you didnt need to hear, nor could you concentrate on, what I might have told you if Id had any. Cora: Good thinking. I sure couldnt concentrate. I was zonked.
Naneki: Can we go back to where we were when I last spoke to you? Youd seen two figures in white - angels with no wings or familiar faces because you couldnt see them clearly. I asked you how long you stayed with them or they with you. You didnt know. Time didnt matter.
Cora: They stayed with me the whole time or whatever time is or was until I felt myself lift off. It was as if I lifted off to the notes of their song.
Naneki: Were you scared?
Cora: No, I was ready. I guess the drug really helped me separate from my body. It was as if my body didnt exist anymore. I felt as if I were stepping out of a heavy armored car in which Id been imprisoned. I felt light as air.
Naneki: Floaty?
Cora: Kind of. Although I didnt float away like the balloons everyone released for me at the service. Ill tell you about that later. I stayed near my body for a while.
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