I remember a comment my mother made to me many years ago. I am not certain how old I was, maybe in my late teens or my early twenties. I never forgot what she said: In life, we are alone, always alone.
My understanding of what she meant then was that we may have family members, friends, husbands or wives, partners or companions. However, in the end we are alone because nobody can do our inner work for us. That is true, of course.
However I have a different philosophy about this: Indeed, we are not alone! Let me explain: When we think of ourselves, as human beings, we think we are a whole being, just one, altogether being. One person, one mind, one heart. It is true and it is untrue. There are many facets to us, many parts with different thought patterns, different energy patterns, different value systems, different beliefs and outlooks on life, different goals and agendas. Lets be totally clear that I am not talking about a multiple personality disorder. Rather I am introducing a new level of awareness about ourselves.
You may be experiencing some reaction by now, and I will ask you to just keep on reading and trust this wonderful process. I invite you to search within yourself, and learn about new ways to relate to yourself and your Inner World. Indeed, there are many facets to who we are. Some parts within us are in conflict with each other, causing us to experience confusion, lack of clarity, blocking our ability to grow or attain our goals. Part of the work I have done with some of my clients has been to help them get in touch with these different parts and to enter in conscious relationships with them. By making clear agreements with the sometimes warring parts of themselves, they are able to create amazingly rapid results to resolve issues they had unsuccessfully worked on for years.
When doing this inner work, change happens fast. We gain control of our lives, we master our emotions and our thoughts; we develop more harmonious relationships, with ourselves first and then with others.
Rather than sharing from the academic world of research, the wisdom I have gathered and now teach to others has come from my own deep learning and experience. I have always had the ability to be in touch with my inner knowing, my inner guidance, and my intuition. Many lessons have been passed on to me this way. The knowledge I am now passing on to you developed slowly and gradually within me, a mix of bits and pieces that eventually all fit together. As I became ready, it came to make sense to me.
I will share how each of these parts revealed themselves to me, although they will not necessarily be presented in the chronological order in which I discovered them. Instead, I am presenting them to you in an order that hopefully makes sense and supports your growth and development. Some of these parts may already be familiar to you; some others may be somewhat new for you to consider and engage with.
Exercises
With each part, I will suggest exercises and techniques to maximize the benefits of your efforts. Believe me, they will be well worth the work. Some of you will just read the book through and never look at it again. Others among you may decide to work slowly over several weeks or months, and let yourselves develop your awareness in a deep way. Some of you will want to explore together and will join in our community through our Coaching Program or our Seminars. I encourage working at your own pace, and honoring yourselves enough to listen fully to what each part has to say and wants to do. As you know, books and tapes dont work if YOU dont do the work. Reading a book is one thing, doing the work suggested is another.
Along the way, I will relate stories and examples. Sometimes they will be coming from my personal life, sometimes from some of my clients. The names used have been changed to protect their privacy.
Four Categories of Beings
There are four major categories of beings within us, presented in this book:
1. The Self-Esteem Robbers, such as the Inner-Critic and the Inner-Judge. These bring us down. They minimize who we are and what we do. They want us to stay small, and never change and grow. 2. 3. The Self-Esteem Boosters, such as the Inner-Warrior, the Inner-Teacher, and the Inner-Lover. These are our allies. They want us to grow and succeed. 4. 5. The Board of Advisors brings wisdom and creativity to us. They are the Inner-Teacher and the Inner-Magician, the guides on our Journey. 6. 7. The Leadership-Circle is where we find the Inner-Queen and Inner-King. They take us to the next level of mastery in our lives, when we become ready to guide others. 8. Finally, we will learn how to put it all together, to make our lives fulfilling and joyful, to become the master of our universe.
About Gender
Throughout this book, I alternately use masculine or feminine gender when describing our different parts. My choice is not sex stereotype related. Rather it feels to me as a feminine or masculine energy. Please understand that this is MY experience, and that yours may be different. I may connect to some of these inner-parts differently than you would. For example, my Inner-Critic feels very masculine; however, some of my clients feel their Inner-Critic as a feminine part. So, all along, please do adapt the gender to what feels right for you.
As I close this chapter, I feel excitement for you, knowing you are embarking on a fascinating adventure.
Enjoy the journey!
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