Novel No. 1: A Perfect Theory of Evolution

Finally, a major breakthrough in evolution. Newly uncovered facts and existing over-looked facts make a rock hound’s theory of evolution so convincing, fossil-bone experts should not disagree with it.

Could this picture script discovered in a
cave in Africa be a major clue, that can
prove evolution is for real?

The rock hound says, “Yes, yes.”

“…Some days I wish I was an ape living in the trees, where I would have privacy, peace of mind and be free of all the hate we have in this world.
“Look at it this way. Apes respect their neighbors, don’t cheat on their wives, and don’t abuse their children.
“More important, they don’t live under a two-party government, that makes laws and decisions to mess up the country.
“And the apes don’t have to choose a religion to decide which is the better one to get them to heaven. They are already living in paradise.
“I would have to say I don’t believe in evolution because an ape would never want to transform into a human, unless there was a reason beyond his control that forced him from his habitat.”
My theory will explain why apes left the trees, how they corrected their bodies to walk upright, and how they adjusted to living on the ground like humans.



Novel No. 2: A Student’s Solution to a State’s Budget Deficit

Another breakthrough. State officials should listen to this young student who knows how to solve a budget deficit, and to do it without funding.







Eva The trip to Michigan Dr. Hinkel

…Professor Hinkel wants to test and select a bright student as his assistant for the budget project. He asks three questions.
Question No. 1: “Eva, why do those famous Ivy League universities, one in Massachusetts, one in Connecticut, and the one you graduated from in New Jersey, have ivy growing on the stone walls of the schools’ dormitories?”
“That is an easy question. The ivy you see is ‘climbing ivy’ which covers the real ‘poison ivy’ behind it. It is the ‘poison ivy’ that catches hundreds of peeping toms, most of whom are incoming freshmen.”
…“As the young exotic dancers started to do bumps and grinds, the senior citizens from nursing homes roared in excitement. They went berserk, screaming, laughing and cheering as they waved dimes like money meant nothing.
…” Where would you bury all the dead? You might have to dig up parking lots, baseball fields, even the backyards of homes. The entrances to Florida’s amusement parks would become cemeteries.
“Florida would be called the tombstone state and it could lose its star on the American flag. No government, no state.”


Novel No. 3: Beware of an Empty Bar Stool

Golfing and drinking after a game always go together. But if it comes to sitting between two women at a bar, it may not make your day.

Molly & Polly
Vincent The empty stool Gabriel

After a game of golf, Vincent enters a bar and races for the only empty stool, located between two women with sexy features.
Is he desperate just for a beer, or is his mind on a possible pick-up for the night? He’s excited and breathing heavy.
After he sits down, he turns to see the women’s faces. “Oh my god. Are they still alive?”
“...Gabriel! Would you like me to escort you to the bar and seat you next to a beauty? What age do you prefer? They are from fifty-five to seventy-five.
“Most all of them are dressed like teenagers, have had plastic surgery and are taking hormones weekly, which seems to make them very loveable.”










Novel No. 4: Welcome to America!

An immigrant attending his first professional baseball game had a surprise, but the important part of the game was to decide if a baseball caught over the wall is or is not a home run.








Stosh A new baseball park Capt Fedor
on the Hudson River

“...In the meantime, stay cool and don’t go around town stopping women who are pushing baby carriages and asking them if they are unwed mothers. That is not the way to check into welfare. How it should be done, I wouldn’t know.”
“...At this position, the glove with the ball still inside, comes off the fielder’s hand and lands in Stosh’s lap. The left field official, running to follow the fly ball, falls to the turf.
Unable to see what happened on the play, he could not make a fair decision on whether the ball was still in the glove a sufficient length of time to call an out. Or, if the glove and ball left the fielder’s hand in a very short time in order to rule a legal home run. Or, if the fan in the stands pulled the glove off the fielder’s hand.
It took a TV replay, a computer and four professors to decide who won the game and if the batter gets credit for his fifth home run in the game.



The DIETERS
(Before & After physical activities)








Hugo Rosenmeyer, M.D., is a guinea pig doctor and the mastermind of “TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL” physical fitness program.

He answers this question:
Will there ever be a cure for the overweight?

“Not with a shot in the arm or a shot in the butt and not by a long shot. And positively, not with thirty pills in a bottle.”