Chapter One Playing Well With Others
There is a reason why I start with this chapter title. Businesses love teams and team players. They want all of us to get along and play well together. Never mind that whenever two or more people get together and spend lots of time in proximity, there will be conflicts. And, there is usually at least one person in every crowd that is really annoying. Reasons vary of course, but in order to survive in a team environment, I'll highlight just a few of my personal experiences and lessons-learned so that you will hopefully avoid stepping on the same landmines as me. The easiest way I can think of to demonstrate loyalty to the team and to your company is to partake in all team activities. This could range from anything as inane as a birthday cake cutting ceremony in the break room to your supervisor ordering a team-building pizza at lunch…usually without much forewarning, which means that you will have to cancel any plans that you may have already made. I have found that while avoiding the cake cutting ceremony in the break room might seem clever, it gets you noticed. Hearing the boss saying things that he or she doesn’t really mean and watching people politely singing happy birthday off key with fake smiles plastered on their fat faces and then talking with their months stuffed with cake are not activities I actually enjoy. In fact, I find the act of them, since they are forced upon me and contrived, to be rather offensive. On a personal note, I try very hard to conceal my birthday from my co-workers and bosses so that I don’t have one of these fake cake-cutting ceremonies. I don’t find it amusing or flattering, and I would prefer to have my real friends with me when it’s time to celebrate my birthday. You know, people who actually know and like me and want to help me celebrate it and are not forced into it like my co-workers…some of whom might barely know me. Often, people are rounded up much like cattle just before the ceremony so that the room is full – ‘rent-a-crowd.’ I mentioned team pizzas for a good reason. There was a specific instance that happened to me at a large company that I will never forget, which began one day when my supervisor was called out of the room by the project manager. The company dealt with government contracts. Every contract had a project manager. We were situated in half-cubicles without a proper wall; therefore, we could see everyone and everything in the room. About 10 minutes went by and then the supervisor came back and immediately sent us all e-mails through Outlook. In the e-mail, he said that it had been some time since he bought us pizza, and that he wanted to treat us today. To digress for a moment, I personally appreciate sincere gestures. If someone has sincerely put forth the effort to give me something, especially for free and for a good reason, I am very appreciative of it. However, if someone is simply going through the motions and if they are only doing it because someone told them to, in this case the project manager (turnover was bad and an employee was leaving the next day), I tend to be somewhat insulted and disappointed. So, to continue the story, the supervisor walked around to all of our cubicles asking each one of us what we would like on our pizza. My plans that day involved going to lunch with a very attractive co-worker who was sadly leaving the next day (this was her last day). So when he asked me what I wanted on the pizza, I politely declined and said that I wouldn’t be able to partake in the pizza. He just looked at me without saying anything. I think the pizza arrived about 45 minutes later. I must admit, it smelled great and made my stomach growl but, as I said, I already had plans for lunch. Again, the supervisor walked by and asked me if I wanted some pizza. I politely declined. The supervisor then turned away, walked to his desk, picked up the telephone and called someone. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I thought that his body language and behavior were rather strange. No more than 15 minutes went by after he finished his call that his telephone rings. After he hung up, he came over and told me that ‘John’ (that’s not the real name) wants to see me upstairs in his office right away. John was the deputy project manager. I suspected that I was being called up to his office to be told that I wasn’t being a team player, or maybe the manager was going to ask me about my co-worker who was leaving tomorrow and try to gauge how my morale was, or something similar. I made my way up to his office and after arriving, John (not his real name) told me to come in and close the door. The conversation played out very closely to the following dialogue: John: “Hello Bob (not my real name), come in, close the door, and take a seat”
John: “So Bob…why aren’t you having any pizza?” I can distinctly remember how John was leaning back in his chair with his fingers steepled together. His look was one of seriousness. The question threw me off, and I must admit, I laughed for a second or so. It seemed so absurd to have been called up to his office to discuss why I didn’t eat the pizza. I actually thought he was joking at first. Far from it! He was perfectly serious.
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