Chapter One Why? (Select Excerpts)
We are not scientists, psychologists, or education specialists. We are simply a devoted mother/son team who embraced this “trial and error” journey years ago with a relentless determination and tenacity that has not waned. Simultaneous with the realization that David had differences and special needs, I began my search for knowledge, for resources, and mostly—for hope. I was desperate for a guaranteed pathway of intervention and the assurance that my little boy would fulfill his potential and find happiness.
There was no such recipe or absolute promise.
What we did discover along the way, however, were countless guardian angels, both lay and professional, who added their support and special gifts to the therapies, programs, and resources we utilized. This combination, along with dedication and hard work, resulted in a truly miraculous and inspirational outcome. Challenges still exist, as they do for everyone, but David has exceeded every dream I dared to dream—and continues to amaze us daily with his steadfast determination to achieve his own dreams. The intentions and motivation for this book are numerous. First and foremost, we would like to provide the hope for others that we sought ourselves. Congruent with the claims of experts, our personal testimonials will exemplify that many skills and behaviors deficient in persons with Asperger’s Syndrome CAN be learned. We will show that self-fulfillment and happiness CAN be obtained . . .
. . . The previous statement provides me with the perfect segue to another purpose we have in writing this book. Different does not equal inferior. We hope to stimulate an epiphany of understanding and tolerance for those who are perhaps unknowingly prejudiced towards individuals with differences, with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) being one of them. We implore these parties to rethink their assumption of superiority and to give relationships a chance! Go beyond superficial Asperger idiosyncrasies to explore and connect with the person within—you may never experience more talent, sincerity, loyalty, or unconditional love. So much has been written about individuals with AS having problems with understanding the ways and perspectives of the mainstream. This is my attempt to address the reverse. We aim to educate and inspire the “typical” world’s understanding, appreciation, and acceptance of those with AS . . .
. . . Finally, it is my hope that this book may serve as an “orientation manual” to enable David’s significant others (both present and future) to understand him as I do and to interact with him accordingly. As he approaches the developmental stage in his life when romantic and committed relationships begin to form, I am concerned that misunderstandings, unknowns, or idiosyncrasies could jeopardize their quality. Perhaps this book will facilitate communication of subtleties in order to minimize exasperation and maximize opportunities for his success and fulfillment on all levels. Though each person with AS is distinct, we hope that there are select anecdotes in this book that may resonate with every reader. Our hope is that others may benefit from our experiences. Following each chapter, the “lessons we learned” are a summary of personal convictions and conclusions. They are a subjective culmination of what I have surmised on David’s unique life journey. Some lessons were gleaned the hard way: they were learned from my mistakes or missed opportunities. Others took root from the people, strategies, and occurrences which positively impacted David’s still-evolving success. Surely, readers will not unanimously agree with all of my decisions, deductions, or tactics, but I hope additional avenues for help or improved quality of life may be illuminated nonetheless.
Hello! My name is David Petrovic. Now, like my mother said, we are not any kind of Ph.D. experts, but we do have some insight based on our experiences. I am writing this book because I want it to be a beacon of hope for typicals, families, and exceptionals alike. There are three principles that I’ve learned in my life that I want to get across in this book:
1) Don’t settle for a life that people expect you to live because you have a disability. Go for the life that you “want” and don’t let anyone or anything get in the way of you living that life; I didn’t.
2) I am a person with an exceptionality (key word: PERSON). People with disabilities aren’t mutants or other worldly species; we’re just what we are: people! The one rule I’ve used in my life is the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Simply, you’re nice to someone, you get it back, and vice versa. At school, the office, and social events, don’t be too quick to judge someone based on what you see on the outside. Take a chance to actually have a conversation starter. You may be surprised by what you learn.
3) Everything happens for a reason! It is my ULTIMATE belief that everything we go through in life has a certain purpose. Whether positive or negative, the experiences that life has to offer make up who we are as people.
Throughout this book, you will be getting the perspectives of both the mother and the son. My mom’s views will be in regular print and mine will follow in italics.
Contents
Acknowledgements
Forewords Beth Anne Martin, Ph.D. Mary Jo O’Neill, M.Ed.
Chapter One Why?
Chapter Two Asperger’s Syndrome: What It Is and How We Approached It
Chapter Three Infancy and the Toddler Years
Chapter Four The Preschool and Kindergarten Years
Chapter Five The Primary School Years Chapter Six The Middle School Years
Chapter Seven The Junior High Years
Chapter Eight High School: Freshman Year (The Longest Year of Our Lives)
Chapter Nine High School: Sophomore Year (Finding His Way)
Chapter Ten High School: Junior Year (Lowest Low)
Chapter Eleven High School: Senior Year (Highest High)
Chapter Twelve College: Phase One
Chapter Thirteen (No Way We Are Ending on “Thirteen”!)
Chapter Fourteen College: Phase Two
Works Cited
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