Excerpt from book, 1000 words:

March, 1974, from Barbara (Pennsylvania), to Sue, (Texas):
Dear Sue:

I wish I could talk face-to-face with you. You are not going to believe what's happened.

The last person on this campus that I would've wanted to be seen with has asked me to marry him. That is not the shocking part. The shocking part is that I'm considering it!

I've never mentioned Ralph to you before because until a month or so ago, he'd done nothing but disgust me, and I'm still puzzled by the change that came over me. Such a change that now, I feel like I'm in love with him!

I've always noticed Ralph. He's not easy to miss. He sticks out. He's so weird, in fact, that I always tried to avoid him.

The first thing I noticed about him was that he never wore a coat. There'd be three feet of snow on the ground and he'd saunter (he thinks he walks like the Pink Panther) across campus with no coat. Just a long-sleeved shirt, with the sleeves rolled up most of the time. My friends and I would say, "You know it's really cold when Ralph lets his sleeves down."

My first too-personal contact with him was at a rehearsal for the school play. I was on the stage crew. Ralph was on the lighting crew. All of us met early in the semester to plan what props we could each contribute for the set. We were in a room that had those folding metal chairs. Ralph arrived after I did, and sat down next to me but shoved his chair back a bit. Then he started pushing his foot against the leg of my chair. He was trespassing into my space, pushing on my private chair! Then his foot nudged my foot and I moved it away. His foot moved again, against mine. I just felt violated!

The director asked who could supply various props we'd need. Ralph seemed intent on drawing attention to himself - boasting and obnoxious. He'd say, "I got lotsa old books. All the old books you can use. And empty liquor bottles if you need any of them. And old pipes. I ain't got no cigarettes. I quit smokin' them when I was nine."

That type of thing. I was disgusted. It's funny when you hear Hal Holbrook playing Mark Twain, saying things like that. But not Ralph. I was not amused, though others in the room, particularly the guys, seemed to enjoy his comments.

A couple of weeks later, at a rehearsal during mid-terms, a small number of people showed up, so the director assigned us to do work behind the scenes. He asked a Nigerian exchange student named Laye, and Ralph, to help me hang up costumes. So the three of us headed off to the small costume closet.

Now, Ralph is tall and skinny, with unusually short brown hair. Laye is a bit shorter than Ralph, but massive, rock solid, and midnight black. He looked like he could break Ralph in half if he wanted to. These two began helping me hang up costumes.

Then all of the sudden, Ralph, who had a nice blonde girlfriend named Judy, started accusing Laye of trying to steal her. "I saw you talkin' to Judy, now don't deny it," he said.

Laye, with careful pronunciation, said, "But Judy is very pretty! If you treated her right, she would not be talking to other guys."

Ralph got a knife and stone out of his pocket, and started sharpening the blade. He raised the leg of his pants and said, "See how sharp this here knife is? It shaves the hair right off o' my leg. You wanna argue with my knife?"

Laye smiled casually and said, "I will use some Nigerian voodoo on you that will put you in bed for three weeks with very bad sickness!"

I was observing all of this out of the corner of my eye as I eased my way over to the door and slipped out as silently as I could. I ran all the way back to the dorm, sure that Ralph was racing after me with that knife.

I didn't know that as soon as they realized I was gone, they doubled over laughing. I had no idea that it was all an act, put on for my benefit. I later found out that these two liked to do this around campus, and especially in front of innocent girls. They liked to get a reaction. To them, this was fun.

Ralph talks like a country hick. He uses incorrect grammar, and words like "ain't." When you first hear him, you assume he's uneducated and uncivilized. When I started to get to know him, I was flabbergasted at all he knows and more flabbergasted at how much he wants people to think he's the uneducated country bumpkin.

I love him, but he scares me. He's got all these dreams and plans about the future, and I'm not sure if I can live the life he wants to live. Dr. Campolo, my sociology professor here at Eastern, is involved in missionary activities in the Dominican Republic. He's asked Ralph to go this summer and help a medical mission. So Ralph wants us to get married and go down there together. On one hand that's thrilling to me, but, can I do it? Is this what I want for my life?

Also, Ralph talks about how he wants to have a big house with a large room in the middle, other rooms off to the sides. He wants anyone and everyone to be welcome at any time. People with no place to stay can come whenever they want.

Sue - this is not my dream. I'm a private person. I am not an entertainer. Yet Ralph's plans are specific. He is my opposite, Sue. My dreams are not his dreams. My plans for the future are not his.

Read more at www.wakeupbarb.com.