Chapter 25 On Bens birthday he and Tom played a round of golf at a Rhode Island course where many Navy people played. In late March it is cold in New England and a wind off the ocean could make it more so, but the day turned out fairly pleasant and they were down to sweaters before they had completed the first nine. Ben was leaving for his second cruise in Vietnam the next day and they avoided that issue while out on the course, choosing instead the safer topics of family and friends, Toms church work and Bens recent volunteer experience in West Virginia with unemployed mountain people.
The day was unusually clear and as they sat in the clubhouse they had a beautiful view from the dining room of the 18th green and the fairway that was laid out along side one of the numerous fingers of water on the Rhode Island coast. They had played that fairway when the tide was high. Soon the waters would recede and Ben laughingly said that perhaps they could find their drives when the tide went out. Tom grinned as he poured his hot tea. Ben was drinking Spanish coffee, and said, but with our luck some fish took them out to sea.
They both knew that conversation about Vietnam would have to take place and that if Pete arrived, it might heat up. As it was, they were all to have dinner at Bens parents home, later that evening. It was the nature of their longtime friendship, however, that would not allow the anticipation of the coming discussion to evoke any kind of stress. Indeed both seemed to look forward to it, perhaps looking for affirmation, but certainly with an expectation of understanding.
Tom decided it was time to get it underway. What did you think of Bobby Kennedys statement the other day? Ben had been looking through the window studying the bay. The ebbing water seemed like a metaphor for his life, he thought, where the difficult places he had served and then the journey home, and respite and friends and encouragement waited. He never succumbed to the enticement, however, and much like the sea that could never sustain its peaceful habitation in the tiny bays and marshes, always drawn back to its greater oceanic duty, so it was with his life. Tom had named it a calling, but Ben was not sure; it just seemed to be something within him.
Ben turned to Tom who had been waiting patiently, used to this type of reflection from his friend. The Senator has been quite talkative since he announced his candidacy. Which statement are you referring to?
Whoa! A little sarcastic there. Tom was amused. You know, the one where he said that each person must examine his own conscience and do what he thinks is right when faced with the prospect of military service in Vietnam. I think hes right, dont you? Tom gave Ben that penetrating, searching look, knowing that he would have to level with him before he left. They could handle a difference of opinion, Tom was sure, but it was important to both of them that they understand their differences. Why are you going, Ben? You dont really believe in the validity of this war, do you?
Ben pushed his chair back a little and crossed his legs. Yes, I believe we werestill are, well intentioned, and that makes it valid. I dont think a United States Senator should be advising young people not to serve their country, abandoning, in effect, the guys we have in Nam, young men that his brother, probably with his advice, put there. Hes being a hypocrite.
As usual this was all stated in a matter of fact manner that Ben used these days and which Tom attributed to his medical training. The only visible trace of anger was a little reddening around the ears, which only Tom would ever notice.
Ben continued, You have a lot of faith in what you believe, Tom, and I share much of that. He smiled. Not everything, though. They both laughed. But, you know, at some point we have to have faith in our government. They are privy to information we dont have. America has always had a sense of purpose. I have been places where Ive witnessed the good that we do, and I dont think that should be undercut by a United States Senator for what appears to me to be political motives. Tom did not agree with that assessment of Kennedy, but wanted to keep this conversation more personal so he waited until Ben looked up at him. Two blue jays swooped by the large plate glass windows and Ben was reminded of the Jet fighters he would soon be seeing again. He shook his head, looked at Tom and said, Damn, I think Im turning into a human metaphor. Tom was used to those kinds of comments that only made sense to Ben and he let it go. And what about a minister? he asked. Ben had switched to beer and took a swallow. He put it down and ran his hand through his close-cropped hair. Well, You know that I am aware of your anti war position and we are good enough friends so that it will never come between us. And yeah, I do believe that the war is possibly ill advised, but that is strictly from a military viewpoint. You are looking at it from a religious perspective. My feelings are quite ambivalent about your beliefs. At times I think youre wrong to protest because it gives the enemy encouragement and at other times I think youre right because it seems that this type of war can not be won without nuclear weapons and that is not acceptable. So, if your protests force our leaders to find another solution, that is good. Then, why are you going, Ben? Hell, you know why, Tom! Im a doctora military doctor and there are a lot of people getting hurt over there. No, it is clear. Its where I belong. Toms eyes were glistening now. Dear God, Ben, you are more of a Christian than I will ever be.
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