1000 Word Excerpt If you believe that your marriage is on shaky ground, and a divorce is possible, you should learn everything you can about your marital rights and your rights and responsibilities in the event your marriage ends.
Pre-dissolution Awareness The first step is to know your legal rights and obligations as soon as possible. This book will help you do this, and will also provide the tools you will need to either represent yourself or, if you have retained an attorney, be a well informed client. Become aware of the issues that might be involved in your case. Do you think that your spouse will seek custody of the children in the event of a divorce? Would visitation be a problem? Would you or your spouse want to leave the state or county where the family presently lives?
Do you know all the assets and liabilities of each and both of you, and how those assets are titled? Do you know the value of the properties that are owned? Where the bank accounts are maintained; how much is in each account; and who has control over the funds? Do you or your spouse maintain records of your assets and liabilities? Have you or your spouse prepared a financial statement to be given to a bank, lending institution or some other person which lists in detail the assets and liabilities? If so, you should get copies and put them in a safe place.
Do you know about or have access to documents that would establish the existence of assets and help determine their value? Do you have access to the checkbooks, credit card statements, stock account statements, pension documents, deeds, mortgages, credit applications, etc.? You should gather enough information and documents to enable you to prepare a statement of the family income, expenses, debts and assets. Do you or your spouse maintain financial records on a computer program? Is the program password protected?
In a divorce case, there are mandatory disclosure requirements. This means that certain specific documents must be produced in accordance with a time schedule. [See Chapter 6, Uncontested Divorce or Chapter 8, Contested Divorce under Discovery and Disclosure]
Once a petition for dissolution of marriage is filed, you will be allowed to ask for and review your spouse's papers and talk to potential witnesses either informally or formally in a deposition where the witnesses are sworn to tell the truth. Your spouse will have the right to see your checkbook, your papers and talk to your witnesses. You will have the same right. Both of you will have access to the other's charge accounts and statements. The spouse who has been contemplating a divorce sometimes takes certain steps to be in a better position when the divorce finally comes. For example, a husband had a second job to supplement his salary. Knowing that his marriage is on the rocks and that divorce is inevitable, he arranges to be fired from his second job. If a divorce is filed two years later, alimony and child support will probably be based upon his income from one job only. Similarly, self-employed individuals, who are in control of the timing and receipt of income may cut back on their salary or simply slow the business down to make themselves appear to be poorer than they really are. If you suspect that your spouse is doing this, now may be the time to schedule an appointment with an attorney knowledgeable in family law matters for a consultation. If you intend to hire an attorney, plan in advance where to get the money for the legal retainer.
Custody Planning Once it becomes apparent that the marriage will end, the question arises as to whether the children will live with the mother or the father, and how often they will see the other parent. Sometimes, for example, a father who was not close or attentive to his children during the marriage suddenly realizes his loss of a family and understands for the first time how much he treasures his children. He may now become "Dad of the Year."
Although one or both parents want the divorce and may believe that their lives will improve once their marriage ends, studies show that children view their parents divorce with fear and sadness. Often, they will act differently. For example, school grades may change or the child may act out and start having behavior problems. A child may become angry with one or both parents, or may suffer from depression and sadness. At this time, parents should consider getting counseling for the children or the entire family.
Financial Issues
Standard of Living In determining the amount of financial support to be paid to a spouse as alimony, the judge will determine the needs of the spouse seeking alimony and the financial ability of the other spouse to pay. The needs of the spouse are determined in accordance with the standard of living enjoyed during the marriage. [See Chapter 12, Alimony] Therefore, the higher the standard of living, the higher the amount of alimony will be awarded, provided the other spouse has the financial ability to pay. In planning for a divorce, a spouse may increase his or spending hoping to establish a higher standard of living, and thereby obtain more alimony. A spouse may reduce his or her income to demonstrate to the court a reduced ability to pay alimony. Most of the time, the judge in the case will observe that the recent conduct of one or both parties before the filing of the divorce action was different and therefore rule that the parties lifestyle and income should be determined at an earlier date that is more realistic for that family.
Keeping a Divorce Notebook Divorce is frequently the single most important financial transaction in a person's life. As such, it should not be taken lightly or haphazardly. It requires careful planning to assure that everything important has been done and fairness has been achieved. It is a good idea to keep a divorce notebook or divorce file in which all of the important issues and papers connected with your divorce can be listed, noted and maintained in one place. You may want to keep your divorce notebook private.
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