She did not care about a new mother and father. The desolation she felt was getting to be too much for her. She cried again. She wanted her mother who had played with her, sang her songs, and fed her. She loved and hated her mother. She loved her intensely, but also hated her as intensely for not trying to find her. How could she continue to live feeling this way? She knew, as Father Paul had said, she would never forget her mother or brother. All she ever knew and loved was gone. What would become of her now? Maria was sure this was America and wondered why she had come all this way to live with strangers. She would rather die first. The turmoil Maria had at that moment was much too much for a seven year old to bear. Something happened to Maria at that moment. She could not fight any longer. She was numb. She had to accept the fate that was in front of her. She knew that this abandonment and loneliness she felt would never go away from her. She was trying to make some sense out of the pain she felt at that moment. Why had her mother abandoned her? Why did she keep Jonni in Italy and send her away from her country? What was wrong with Maria that no one wanted to be bothered with her?
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