Excerpt

Jared is surprised that here is a woman who is not afraid, not going to cry over spilt milk, will try to get along, and be helpful. At the beginning, he had been concerned about his impending loneliness but that has suddenly changed. It will be crowded though. She is another person who has left the American rat race behind to find adventure even if it was to be alone.

Kaitlyn Madson, 28, an itinerant artist from Chicago, single with no children. Average height, weight, clean, girl next-door looks. A bachelors degree in liberal arts. She has had to work as a disillusioned illustrator not finding enough creativity to get beyond prostituting her talents as a hack fashion designer in copying pieces of someone elses work who garners all the credit.

Kaitlyn is very concerned with a career and how she appears to the boss. Shes likely to be illusory about her talents and skills, an expert at cover-ups, but looks like a real gem to the boss. She has self-esteem tied up in how she appears to these that she admires. The fear of failure is excruciating. She has met with so-so success but the drive to be better overtakes her. She finds herself in deep do-do when taking undue credit at the expense of the team.

Still, Kaitlyn knows she is being phony and, at times, can be very hard on herself. Then she will be filled with self-doubt, feeling like she is successfully pulling off this facade but that it could crumble at any moment. She might be the courageous co-worker under pressure to perform, on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Kaitlyns character flaw is based on a belief that success, love, and acceptance are earned through performance. Image is everything, to the point of deceiving herself of her own true feelings. This can interfere with her ability to care deeply for others. When shes under pressure, she gets tied up in details and loses assertiveness.

Kaitlyn found a connection early on with her mother, abandoned her true self to become someone that this care-giving figure would accept, love, and want to spend more time with. They did spend enormous amounts of quality time together with her mother teaching her to be a successful homemaker. But Kaitlyn had other plans to have a creative career not understanding that such an endeavor had to entail an enormous amount of natural talent to be prolific and innovative. She didnt have it and didnt understand why she could not develop it

Kaitlyn as a helper doesnt need to change very much. To become an asset, she will find acceptance for herself, an unshakable self-admiration that will come out in the form of standing up to that admired figure to do what is helpful. To be available. To let herself go, be second place.

Do you still have a job waiting for you in Belize? he nudged her as he came to the wheel to correct their course, and then wondered why they fit together so well, body to body.

I doubt it. It was only open for a week. She noticed his tanned, bare upper body, washboard abs, and felt the flush in her face as he caught her looking.

What doing?

Working in Francis Ford Coppolas resort. Hes the movie producer-director, you know. I was to be a hostess with the added potential of flying vacationers in and out. But it would be nothing without my plane.

Too bad.

Yeah, you lose some and win some.

The seaward breeze picked up and a line to the forward sail had hung up on a stanchion. Kaitlyn didnt have deck shoes on. None to fit her. Better that she had preferred to go barefooted anyway as long as she stayed on the slip proof decking. The wind picked up spray off the bow and blew it onto the deck when she moved foreward, holding onto the lifelines but she stepped onto the rounded portion of the cabin where there is no slip proof decking, slipped, went down once, scrambled to gain her footing, and staggered forward again. Jared had just attached his lifeline to his belt and had hiked out on the railing to stabilize the main boom, while slightly turning to port and more southeasterly.

Then it happened.

Jared saw the ungainly sea waif pitch sideways again as the boat pitched, yawed, and flipped her over the side. As soon as she hit the water, Jared threw out the preserver but she missed it. It went ahead of her about six feet and blew further out of her reach quickly with the wind blowing the tops off the waves. Without thinking further, he flew headlong over the side, swimming quickly trying to catch her. His lifeline is only so long. It had to be one great, not failing effort. She saw him come after her, stopped swimming away, allowing him to over take her.

By then the boat had lufted into the wind, stalled, turning on her heel, and preparing to come about. Clutching onto Kaitlyn by her shirt he dragged her to him by an arm, and struggled to reach the ladder hanging over the stern. Getting on board, coughing out seawater she said, You are going to have to stop saving me from myself or, Im going to take it to mean something else.

You can take it however you want. But you must learn to monkey crawl up that deck and for gods sake take a line with you. Dont do that again, you understand. We cannot afford any mistakes. This sea is very unforgiving. Then realizing he is sounding like a cruel-hearted Captain Bligh, he breathed a large sigh. Then smiled when he saw he had torn her shirt and a breast is exposed.

Tucking the shirt in she said almost tearfully, Im sorry. I just wasnt thinking. Im a real flake sometimes. Things do happen so suddenly, dont they?

Sometimes we dont get a second chance when we make a mistake out here. Now, you can see why. Its kind of like flying over water. You can understand that.