Yes, I said guys are like shoes. Guys are like shoes because they come in all different sizes, shapes, and colors. You have to try on many different pairs before you find the right fit for you! Now that you have learned about the importance of loving yourself before having a relationship with someone else, you are ready for the next step. The second secret is learning how to understand the opposite sex. Knowledge is power. The more you get inside a guys head, the more successful you will become at winning him over and having the relationship of your dreams.
The first thing you need to know is that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. WE COULD NOT BE MORE DIFFERENT IF WE TRIED. Girls are emotional and guys are not. Society teaches boys that they are not allowed to be emotional. If they break down and actually show their emotions, especially by crying, they are labeled a sissy (among other things). That makes the job as their girlfriends so much harder. Girls love romance and talking about their feelings and guys do not. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but emotional guys are hard to find.
Guys are physically connected to the world. They think with their head, but not the one that is on top of their shoulders (if you know what I mean :))! This is especially true when guys are teenagers. They are in the height of puberty and their testosterone has made them a prisoner in their own body. During puberty, your bodies are changing and your hormones are raging. I like to compare puberty to animals in heat, except that guys are on FIRE. The bottom line is that GUYS ARE HORNY (See chapter 5 for more details). Their ultimate goal is to have sex anywhere, anytime, and with anyone. I have heard it first-hand from all of my students and clients- guys and girls. I also know this to be true from my own personal experiences. Unfortunately that does not change, even after guys leave puberty. That pattern of behavior usually continues for the REST of their lives. Horny boys turn into horny men. Once you come to terms with that fact, you will be WAY AHEAD in the game of love.
There are all different types of guys, but the one thing they ALL have in common is their raging hormones. Lets talk about the different kinds of guys out there. We will start with the worst and work our way to the best. Please keep in mind that some guys may fall into more than one category. There is always a gray area no matter what the subject. But, no matter what category your guy falls into, the most important quality he needs to have is that he treats you like precious gold. Healthy relationships should make you feel good inside, NOT bad.
#1 Toxic Boy is like a pair of smelly, old, and dirty sneakers!
Everybody can relate to having a pair of smelly, old, and dirty sneakers. This is the pair of shoes WAY in the back of your closet that need to be tossed into the garbage IMMEDIATELY. They are stinking up your life! So who is the toxic boy and where does he come from? Well, the toxic boy usually comes from a toxic family, meaning that they have A LOT of problems. Toxic boys come in all shapes and sizes. Looks might be deceiving because they might be punk, preppy, gothic, or just a normal looking type of guy. But this bad boy is rebellious and is out for a cheap thrill. He usually drinks, smokes, has unprotected sex, and basically gets himself into a lot of trouble. He loves indulging in risky behavior and will suck you in with any chance he can get.
Toxic boy may seem adventurous and exciting at first glance, but trust me he is NOT. When he starts putting your life and future at risk, all of a sudden he is not so romantic anymore. This type of boy is probably heading down the road to becoming an alcoholic, drug addict, or convict as an adult and leaving a trail of pregnant girls along the way. That is NOT so fun or sexy. His family has so many problems that they cannot or do not know how to be good parents. Toxic boy usually does not respect his mother or women in general for that matter. If he did, he would treat them with more respect.
Usually toxic boy is jealous, possessive, and chances are he is probably a cheater too. Here is a little tip: When guys accuse you of cheating, that means they are the ones who are doing the cheating. They are afraid that you are doing the same thing that they are. JEALOUSY DOES NOT MEAN THAT HE LOVES YOU. Toxic boys can look you straight in the eye and lie like they have never lied before without thinking twice. Do not be naive. Sometimes toxic boys can be verbally or physically abusive. Get out of the relationship IMMEDIATELY if that is happening. If you do not know how to get out of an abusive relationship, talk to your parents, older siblings, a relative, a guidance counselor, or ANYONE that will listen and help.
No one EVER deserves to be treated badly. Toxic boy definitely does NOT want you to be happy and successful or do anything where you might meet new people. He wants to keep you in a locked box. You need to be there when he calls. If not, he will ask you fifty questions and yell at you if you did not answer. He wants to control your EVERY move. Toxic boys will eventually try to take you away from your family and friends. He wants you to spend ALL of your time with him. Life rule #1- NEVER dump your girlfriends for a guy. Guys come and go, but friends can last forever. THIS IS NOT LOVE GIRLS. WAKE UP AND GET THOSE SMELLY, OLD, AND DIRTY SNEAKERS OUT OF YOUR LIFE!