Excerpt
Spring Break
Chuck looked into his side view mirror at the flashing red light of a Palm Springs Police car as it pulled up alongside his limousine. He knew the thing to do was to move over to the right and let it pass, but how? The limousine was locked into place by the parade of writhing, half-naked bodies of Spring Break participants surrounding him, all moving in the same direction.
Chuck and the four young ladies in his limousine were on Indian Canyon, a one-way street that goes north until the cross street, Alejo, allows a left turn to get to Palm Canyon?another one-way street that goes south. Because the exits on Indian Canyon were barricaded, he had no choice but to follow the horde in the great parade of honking cars and half-clad youths, crisscrossing the street, as bewildered pedestrians stared.
This event is the West Coast version of Spring Break; youths barbarous ritual displayed in wanton glorious power. The idea behind all this is to cut loose, be noticed, but not get caught; avoid the embarrassment of your seeing your picture on national television.
Chuck eased the limousine forward; just a few inches from the girls thong clad, bare behind, seated on the motorcycle ahead of him. Surprised to see the officer motioning to him, he came to a full stop.
The evening started innocently enough. He had picked up the young ladies at the birthday girls home, and drove them to dinner. Well mannered, they seemed to have things under control. He explained to them that the company would not allow him to cruise downtown Palm Springs.
Oh no, thats not our intention, they replied. But here they were. The officer peered into Chucks window, glancing at the closed divider panel.
Did you know one of your passengers is standing up in the moon roof?
Really? No, I didnt. I cant see what theyre doing. Im sorry, Officer. Ill tell them to stop; or you can tell them, its okay with me.
The officer walked to the back and opened the rear door. Putting on his tough guy face, he looked sternly at the young ladies and announced:
I saw one of you standing up in the moon roof. Thats a $500 fine. If it happens again, Ill write a ticket. The girls, subdued, glanced at each other, and giggledt.
Were sorry, we didnt know. We dont want any trouble, said one of them. Chuck smiled as he looked in the side mirror and caught the officers eye.
Go on, then. Youre holding up the parade, said the officer. The limousine moved forward a few feet, but already the swarming mass of bodies and motorcycles had filled the gap between him and the bare-bottomed girl who had been in front of them. Chuck sighed, Jesus, if the boss finds out Im down here, Im finished
Maneuvering the limousine carefully out of the mainstream, he tried to cross Palm Canyon but it had been barricaded. No way to go but follow the horde south down the main street. He felt some bumping behind the screen, heard some giggling, a few muffled words, wouldnt dare you heard him crazy. The intercom buzzed.
Driver, never mind the hotel, weve changed our minds. Just continue down Palm Canyon.
Thats good, but hell, its still going to take a half-hour of creeping along before Im rid of this place. I hope no one sees me and calls the boss. He felt more bumping and heard more giggling. What are they up to? Theyre doing something.
He heard shrill whistles. Looking around, he saw heads turning, flash bulbs popping, and big smiles. A motorcycle cop blocked Chucks path. Another one pulled up along the passenger side; He jerked open the rear door and reached inside. The officer, who had let them go earlier, got out of his vehicle, walked over to Chuck and started reading him the riot act.
Whats the matter with you? Cant you control your passengers? Now Ill have to haul you in!
For what? Im trying to get out of this place, but I cant go any faster. Chuck climbed out of his seat; he glanced up at the moon roof as one of the girls inside struggled with the policeman.
There, in full view of everyone was one of the young women, standing tall, smiling broadly, her full bare breasts resting on the limousines roof!
Jesus Christ! Im finishedthis will be in the paper. How can I make them understand I cant see up there from the drivers seat? Turning to the cop, he said, Look, Im not responsible. I didnt know. This will cost me my job.
Too bad, said the officer, pulling out his pen.
Look, Ill show you. Carefully, Chuck took the officer by the arm and swung him around until he was standing beside the drivers seat.
Climb in, check the side mirrors, the rear view too See, I told you, I cant see whats happening. Im not at fault here. Please, just let us go. Just scare the hell out of them. Ill takem right home. I promise.
Sorry, cant do it. That young lady deliberately exposed herself. Youll need to follow us to the station.
Butbut what about all these other half-naked people. Why havent you arrested them?
Just let me do my job the way I see it. Dont be telling me how.
By this time, the young woman, with her blouse back on, was tearfully getting into the back of the police car. Her companions, but without results. The three young women climbed back into the limousine. Chuck made sure the divider was down so he could see them, and followed the police to the station. After a lengthy wait, the culprit came out with a notice to appear in court in her hand. True to his promise, Chuck drove them home.
Back at the office, Chuck decided it was better to tell Quinn what happened than be found out. Chuck told him the whole story, making sure that his boss understood it was an error in judgment. At first, Quinn was angry that he drove into Palm Springs, but after a while he began to see the humor in it. The Chuck story became one of his favorites.
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