Grandpa and Grandma came home early and caught Aunt Sallie and Rudy kissing by the hogpen.
Grandpa got his shotgun and took after the boy. As Aunt Sallie starting crying something awful and begging Grandpa to not hurt Rudy, the young man jumped over into the hog pen to get away. Little did he know though, that the back side of that hog pen didnt lead to nowhere. It was a virtual wall of thistle, poison ivy and barbed wire.
Grandpa knew Rudy was cornered. He stood at the entrance with his shotgun and watched as the young man shimmied up a birch tree in the middle of the hog pen.
Cmon down from there Rudy!, Grandpa instructed. But, Rudy wasn't budging.
Sir, please dont hurt me!, he started begging. I wont ever come over without permission again. I promise!
Well, boy, Grandpa responded, The only way you gonna get out of this here hog pen is if you get on top of that boar hog over yonder and ride him around this pen a couple times!
Rudy glanced over at the boar hog, and then back at Grandpa holding the shotgun. Sir, I aint never rode no boar hog before, he cried.
You ride that boar hog, or take some of this buck shot in your rear end boy!, Grandpa warned. Youre trespassing and I got every right!
LC, let the boy get down from there. Cant you see hes scared? You made your point, Grandma whispered. Let that boy down now. We dont want no trouble from the boys Paw.
What!, Grandpa snapped. His Paw! That sorry Randy?!
Oh, Cmon Sarrie, he whispered to her while keeping a keen eye on Rudy. You know I aint going to hurt that young man. But, hed best ride that boar if he wants to get out of this predicament. Grandma giggled lightly under her breath, while turning away.
Ok boy, whats it going to be? Ride the boar hog or get some of this here buckshot?
Ride the boar, Sir, Rudy hesitantly responded.
Whatd you say, Son? Did you just call my boar hog a boar? He's called a boar hog!
Yes Sir. Ill ride the boar hog.
Well in that case, then come on down from that tree and get to riding. Get down!
Rudy slowly made his way down the tree and moved toward the boar hog, which had his back turned to him. As he approached cautiously, the boar turned his head and looked back.
Sir, do I really have to do this?, he nervously turned to ask.
Yep, and youd best hurry. Im getting plenty tired of waiting!, Grandpa warned.
Rudy got his nerve up, walked briskly to the boar hog and jumped on his back. The boar bucked wildly as Rudy held on for dear life! He ran towards the far end of the pen with Rudy tightly holding on for dear life, and screaming at the top of his lungs!
Ridem Son! Ridem boy!, Grandpa yelled. Grandma grabbed Grandpas arm while covering her eyes with the other hand. She knew what was going to happen.
Help! Help!, Randy screamed again and again! Help me!
The boar turned sharply at the top of the hog pen and started back toward Grandpa and Grandma while grunting and bucking wildly. By this time, Rudy had already wrapped both his arms around the large neck of the boar hog.
Grandpa knew what that meant. Soon, Rudy would be on the ground. The boar veered sharply toward the slopping troughs, at full speed, and stopped suddenly to send Rudy forward. And, whoosh! With a final buck from the boar hog, Rudy found himself 5 feet in the air and headed toward a big mud hole!
Aw! No!, Rudy could be heard as he sank into the mud. But, he didnt stay there long. He quickly scrambled to his feet, covered in hog filth, and made his way back over the fence and stood before Grandpa out of breath.
Sir, can I go now?, he panted.
Well, seems to me that wasn't quite a couple of times around the pen, Son! What do make of it?
Rudy looked around in despair before responding. Sir, Im awful sorry for being here without your permission and it will never happen again!
I know, said Grandpa as he began to walk toward the house to put away the shotgun. You aint never coming around here again, or the next time I wont be so nice! You best hope I dont have a few words with your Paw about this! Yes Sir!, responded Rudy. Ill be making my way home now. Goodbye Ms. Sarrie. I apologize for all this.
See what you did to that young man? You humiliated him. I hope youre proud of yourself now?, Grandma discreetly scolded Grandpa as Rudy walked away.
Oh shucks, Sarrie. We was just having a little fun. Thats all. Rudy will understand once he calms down. Ill bet he wont come over here without permission anymore. Thats for sure, Grandpa added with a devious, but humorous grin.
As Rudy made his way back up toward the main road all smelly and stinky, Aunt Sallie ran to apologize for the whole thing.
Sallie!, Get back over here Grandpa yelled. She stopped immediately in her tracks, without ever turning around! Rudy, however, did turn briefly to catch the angered eye of her Paw. He didnt say a word further and continued to walk away.
I hate you!, Aunt Sallie yelled to Grandpa. Ill never forgive you for this!
Serves him right young lady. You know the rules. And, if you ever speak to me again with that tone of voice, I might just forget that youre a girl and take you to the woodshed!
Youll do no such thing Paw!, Grandma warned quietly. Youve done enough for one day. Cant you see the girls been embarrassed too?
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