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Excerpt
From ACT 2 of The Shrew Untamed.
PETRUCHIO
(Off stage)
HELLO THE HOUSE!
Lucentio quickly runs back into view and scoops his shirt up.
LUCENTIO
(Aloud)
TRANIO! See to the front door!
TRANIO
(Off stage)
YES MY LORD!
Lucentio puts his shirt on rapidly and almost makes it offstage again before Petruchio and Kate appear. The merchant is stunned to see his relatives.
PETRUCHIO
Ah! Lucentio – it has been too long!
LUCENTIO
Petruchio! This is indeed a surprise.
Petruchio steps up to his brother-in-law, grabs him in a bear hug and thumps his back with a roar. He then stands to one side and gestures to Kate.
PETRUCHIO
You remember your sister-in-law of course.
Lucentio bows before his wife’s sister.
LUCENTIO
My lady… To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?
PETRUCHIO
We are traveling to Rome and thought it courteous to stop by and greet our relatives.
LUCENTIO
I am thankful you thought of us. But you might have sent your page forward so that we could prepare for your arrival.
PETRUCHIO
Grumio is not here then?
LUCENTIO
Indeed sir, he is not. Nor has he ever been here.
Lucentio’s response sends Petruchio into a rage.
PETRUCHIO
The incompetent dope! Performance of the simplest task overwhelms him. I will box his ears when I see him next!
KATE
You box his ears once a day and no change is brought about by the practice. Leave him be.
Petruchio scowls at his wife and then lets the matter rest.
PETRUCHIO
(To Lucentio)
I would like very much for you to show me your town Lucentio. Perhaps we will find my page during our walk.
LUCENTIO
It will be my pleasure.
Bianca suddenly strides onto the stage and walks up to Kate with a beaming smile on her face.
BIANCA
I heard my sister’s voice and was never happier to hear it.
The two sisters embrace briefly.
KATE
I am overjoyed to see you Bianca.
Petruchio takes a bow before his sister-in-law but is completely ignored.
PETRUCHIO
My lady…
With reinforcements now to hand Bianca steps up to her husband and slaps him across the cheek, much to everyone else’s surprise.
BIANCA
Tonight I will sleep in a guest room alongside my sister. Only a lunatic would dare take on the two of us.
Lucentio can barely contain his hurt and embarrassment.
LUCENTIO
Bianca, this is no way to behave in front of guests!
BIANCA
These people are family, so there is no need to feign pleasantries!
KATE
I fear we have arrived at an inconvenient time.
BIANCA
Oh do not mind such behaviors my darling Kate. I slap my husband the way a parent slaps a naughty child. It may not be pleasing to see, but it is necessary. You must be hungry. TRANIO!
PETRUCHIO
He is seeing to our horses my lady.
BIANCA
Of course: Kate, you will join me in the kitchen?
KATE
I will follow you shortly.
BIANCA
As you see fit.
The lady of the house walks briskly from view, leaving Lucentio to repair the unfavorable impression she has left behind.
LUCENTIO
Allow me to apologize for my wife’s behavior.
PETRUCHIO
There is no need to apologize my friend. Kate and I have witnessed far worse in our lifetimes.
LUCENTIO
I will see to your room myself. Please excuse me.
Lucentio bolts from the arena. No sooner is he gone from view when Petruchio tilts his head back and laughs gleefully.
PETRUCHIO
Splendid! We shall certainly be amused during our stay.
KATE
I do not find my sister’s violent outbursts amusing.
Petruchio slips a hand into a breast pocket and extracts a gold coin.
PETRUCHIO
We must entertain you then with something that is more to your taste. I propose a wager.
Kate studies her husband with interest as he holds the gold coin aloft.
KATE
You have my attention.
PETRUCHIO
My lovely wife: can you bring about a reconciliation between your sister and her husband within 3 days?
Kate laughs in delight.
KATE
And you have the nerve to declare that I suffer from a gambling addiction!
PETRUCHIO
You will not take part in the wager?
KATE
I said nothing of the sort! This woman never turns down gold!
PETRUCHIO
Bravo!
KATE
I require some clarification though. By “reconciliation”, do you mean that they must come to love and respect one another?
PETRUCHIO
I do indeed.
KATE
I am no magician. I cannot make a man and women love one another if the seed for that love does not lie in their hearts. And “respect” is perhaps an even mightier challenge, for it resides in the head and is therefore less fickle.
PETRUCHIO
Very well: within 3 days, can you convince your sister to treat Lucentio with decent courtesy?
KATE
Perhaps I should be convincing Lucentio to treat Bianca with decent courtesy.
PETRUCHIO
Either way my love, you must bury the apparent bitterness between them.
KATE
And what must I give you if I fail?
PETRUCHIO
I will settle for a kiss.
KATE
Let no one accuse you of being predictable Petruchio.
PETRUCHIO
You think I should choose differently madam?
Kate ponders this question for a moment and then smiles broadly.
KATE
Allow me to choose your reward. But I will keep its nature a secret and will only disclose the relevant details in the unlikely event that I lose.
PETRUCHIO
How can I refuse?
KATE
How indeed?
PETRUCHIO
My love, let the game begin!
Petruchio returns his gold coin to his breast pocket. He offers Kate his arm, which she accepts, and the two exit the stage together.
The curtains close.
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