Excerpt
Nadia
My mom agreed to make the trip. She was rather cheerful in her decision to be the one to drive my daughter to college. She seemed to love her role as the proud grandmother, anxious to help in any way that was needed. My daughter was very excited and had been anticipating this day for months. It came as no surprise to me that as soon as she was old enough, she would leave home. As a matter of fact, ever since she was about three years old her independent nature became quite evident. Everyone in the family was happy for her and wished her the best. I, on the other hand didn‘t share their sentiments. I was proud of her display of both independence and courage, but couldn’t shake my feelings of sadness.
Before I came to the Lord I selfishly placed my daughter in positions where she felt responsible for me. I replaced her carefree childhood with the stresses and burdens of adult issues. On countless occasions I treated her as a peer rather then a child. She took the responsibility of comforting me during the aftermath of each bloody argument I had with my lover, a man she considered to be her dad. Often times she looked after me during my drunken stupors and cared for her brother when I was emotionally unavailable. I unfairly placed her in the middle of all of my garbage and refused to allow her to be a little girl. All of these memories raced through my mind as we pulled up to her new home. I found myself unable to make eye contact with her as we said our goodbyes. I tried to hide my tears but could not. As she quickly turned to wave for the last time before she disappeared behind the gate, I saw her eyes as they glistened with tears. It was at that moment that I knew she too was fighting with the many memories that crippled us both for so long.
Even after coming to the Lord several years ago we both still needed a breakthrough in regards to one another. It seemed as if neither one of us could let go. I believe that we harbored a lot of anger and guilt toward each other, yet used one another to soothe our consciences. Whatever was going on had become very unhealthy. We needed God to “cut the cord”.
I got in the van and quietly prayed. My heart broke into a million pieces that day as I accepted the fact that I had to give my daughter back to her ‘Abba Father”, her daddy God. I released her to the Lord that day, trusting her in His hands. I removed myself from her life so that she could finally live a life of her own.
Today I give glory to God for the incredible work He has done and is still doing in her life. She is seeking God for herself as she continues to attend Bible College desperate to fulfill her destiny. She comes home whenever possible and calls me almost everyday. Our relationship is truly blossoming because of His grace. He has healed us both and taught us incredible lessons on forgiveness. I will never forget the death I died the day I released my controlling hands from her life. Through that episode God has taught me a wonderful lesson of trust. I released her into the potter’s hands and am still amazed at the beauty of His handiwork. He is a loving Father and has such good things prepared for His children. God is so good!
And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter’s hand and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do.
Jeremiah 18: 4
And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong: and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.
Isaiah 58:11
Growth
Graced to blossom beneath your banner Draped in royal hue, Planted beside the living stream Grafted into You.
Oil rains down upon cracked soil Weakened stems grow straight, Spices flow as heaven calls Opened wide are heaven’s gates.
Pegs stretch forth as gardens thrive Scorching sunlight purifies, Battered by showers yet still alive Oh, how these valleys sanctify!
Once buried beneath dusty plains Now basking in destiny’s truth, Never before has my heart known peace As when resting in beautiful You.
Desert flower in fragrant bloom Bathing in the dew of dawn, Emitting passion as grace consumes Blooming to the heartbeat of heaven’s song…
Salvation Prayer
Well of salvation - new life, new wine Fill my cup with joy divine! Cast off darkness, holy light sublime Oh bloody hands redeem the time…
If you do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and would like to surrender your life to Him, pray this prayer from your heart right now. “Jesus, I want the life that you have for me. I am a sinner and I need a savior. I believe that you are the Son of the living God sent to earth in the form of a man to die for my sins. I ask for your forgiveness and turn now from my old way of living. I surrender my life to you and ask you to come into heart, change me and make me new. I pray this in Jesus’ name.” Amen.
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