The ceremony began with the usual introductory and somewhat funny remarks by the master of ceremony. This was followed by the presentation of two awards and then, James Buxton, also a songwriter, introduced Kyle. I could feel my body start to tremble nervously as I waited for her appearance. The lights on the stage were dimmed slightly and then she appeared stage right. She walked, guitar in hand, about ten feet onto the stage, stopped, and began to sing. I was tense as she sang the first verse of the song, but when she raised her voice slightly and began the words of the chorus, I felt tears running down my face. It seemed to me that she was looking directly into my eyes.

I feel my life returning
As you take me into your heart
I feel your love surround me
Within your silence

When Kyle reached the end of the song, there was a spontaneous outburst of applause from the audience. Then everyone rose from their seats and gave her a standing ovation. I was probably the only person who remained seated. I sat, tears streaming down my face, as I stared in stunned amazement at the only woman I would ever love. And, for the first time, I truly understood what people were talking about when they spoke about feeling their heart break. Because my heart crumbled into a thousand tiny pieces as I realized that I would never hold that magnificent woman again.

Eventually I became aware that Judith had her arms around me and was holding me closely. “I’ll be okay,” I said quietly. “I just need to find a powder room and get myself together.”

“I’ll go with you,” Judith said with concern.

“No, I’ll be fine. You stay here and congratulate Kyle. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

When I returned to the main hall another presentation was being made, so I stood at the back until there was a pause in the proceedings. During the next round of applause I saw Kyle returning to the table. As she drew near the table her eyes seemed to be searching for someone. She bent over and talked into Judith’s ear and then she turned and looked over the crowd. When she spotted me at the back of the room she smiled anxiously in my direction and motioned me toward the table.

For the next hour or so, various awards were presented and as the audience watched the presentations and applauded the winners, I watched Kyle. It was obvious that she had lost a significant amount of weight. In fact she looked gaunt. Her face was thin and she appeared tired. I could tell that she was making an effort to interact normally with people, but at times she would lean back in her seat and stare at the stage as though she had simply run out of energy. At some point she moved her chair closer to me and put an arm across the back of my seat. Then she started idly drumming her fingers on my shoulder. I don’t think she was consciously aware of what she was doing, but I certainly was. Each time that she touched me I wanted to scream, “Okay, I give up. Please come back to me.”
Eventually she moved her hand onto my shoulder and held onto me lightly. At that point I became aware that an explosive tension was building between us. I could tell by the stiffness of Kyle’s body that she was also aware of what was happening. When the presenter of the Cross Award for best song in romantic ballads appeared on the stage, Kyle’s grasped my shoulder in an iron grip. When he announced that Kyle was the winner of the award, she pulled me toward her and muttered quietly, “We did it babe. We did it.” Then she stood and, with an enormous smile on her face, began accepting hugs and congratulations from the people seated around us.

When the cameras turned in her direction, she started toward the stage to accept her award. She took about five steps before she turned and looked directly into my eyes. I saw the familiar ‘what the hell’ look appear in her eyes. She walked back to me, pulled me to my feet and kissed me soundly. Then she turned, and accompanied by loud applause and laughter, walked confidently toward the stage.

As she walked onto the stage the applause grew louder. Eventually, the person presenting the award stopped trying to speak and simply handed her the trophy. After she had taken the trophy, she stood and acknowledged the applause for a few moments. Then she started talking. Her acceptance speech was simple and succinct.

“I owe deep appreciation to numerous people for the fact that I am being honored with this award tonight. To my extended family, and to my friends, I offer much gratitude for your love and support. I have been deeply blessed, and I thank all of you for what you have given me.” Kyle paused for a moment and then she looked directly at me. “There is one person who has given me more than even I ever had the audacity to believe I could ever receive. Because of her, and for her, I wrote Within Your Silence. She is the love of my life and I will always honor her above all else. I take this opportunity to say thank you to Maura Owens-Baden. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life. Thank you for the love you have given me.”

When she finished, the audience once again came to its feet in loud applause. Kyle stepped back from the podium and bowed her head for a moment in acknowledgement of the tribute. Then she turned and swiftly walked behind the curtain. I had never loved her more than I did at that moment knowing that she was no longer mine.