Excerpt from Chapter2: Expectations Clones
Tragically for many of us, we have become Expectations Clones, living by everyone elses expectations. If you say yes to any of these, then you are an Expectations Clone:
:( Have you ever thought, Now that Im an adult is this all there is? :( :( Do you fall in bed exhausted, only to wake up in the middle of the night and cant get back to sleep? :( :( Do you feel like youre just existing rather than really living? :( :( Do you have an unsettled feeling, like something is nudging you, trying to get your attention?
When you are an Expectations Clone, it encloses you in a heavy armor, hiding the real youthe free spirit that made an Agreement with Conscience to lead a meaningful and rewarding life. That nudging feeling is Conscience trying to remind you about the Agreement because you really did make one.
You want to live, not just exist; otherwise you wouldnt be reading this book. I live in a world of shoulds too. But Ive shattered the Expectations Clone armor and so can you. Its possible to have a richly satisfying life within your present circumstances.
By the time you finish reading this book, youll fully recall your Agreement. Youll be amazed by its simplicity and how effectively it destroys the Expectations Clone armor. Your energy and enthusiasm for life will soar. Believe it or not, it is possible to have 16 hours of high energy a day. To help you fulfill your Agreement to lead a meaningful and rewarding life, you were born with attributes and abilities that enable you to be the best of who you are right here and now. Developing these abilities while you strive to reach your full potential is a lifelong process.
What follows are ideas and methods to assist you with this development. It may be easier than you think.
Excerpt from Chapter 3: Empowering & Limiting Tendencies
You were born with Empowering and Limiting Tendencies. Your Empowering Tendencies cause you to take a positive action. When you operate through these Empowering Tendencies, you feel good about yourself and what youre doing. You find that you also have more energy because life is both satisfying and enjoyable.
Your Limiting Tendencies cause you to react to people and situations. Often, negative or difficult people trigger these Tendencies. When youre operating through these Limiting Tendencies, you dont feel good about yourself or in control of whats happening. These reactions destroy your energy, and you feel tired and depleted afterward. Think back to the last time you lost your tempersince were all human, that shouldnt be difficultand remember how drained you felt afterward.
Feelings versus Emotions
In this book, I refer to feelings as those feelings you can identify and acknowledge, but which dont control you. These feelings, for example, may bring you joy or sadness. Either way, they motivate you to take positive actions that make your life more meaningful and rewarding.
Emotions, on the other hand, are feelings out of control. When youre angry, if you remember to STOP when you see red, take a deep breath and pause, this gives you the opportunity to acknowledge the anger and take appropriate action. If you dont stop when youre seeing red, you may lose it and explode. Frustration, indignation, resentment, fear, stress and fatigue are some of the other emotions that trigger reactions.
Not all emotions appear as negative. When you fall in love, this wonderful and exciting emotion is a feeling out of control. It consumes you. All you can think about is your beloved. However, this Im in love emotion limits your awareness of others or situations in your life. The result is that you may begin to operate more through your Limiting Tendencies, causing you to be more reactive to others.
Its a Matter of Perception
Why do you act or react in certain ways? Its a matter of perception. You are the sum total of all of your experiences. These experiences influence how you perceive your environment and people. Since no one shares your same experiences, each persons perceptions are different.
There is one intrinsic characteristic, however, which isnt affected much by your environment or experiences. This particular characteristic is how you receive your insight, inspiration, ideas or intuition, which in turn influences how you listen. For example, some people dont appear to listen with their ears. Instead they seem to listen with their eyes while others listen through their feelings. Then there are those who hear, see and feel simultaneously, which enables them to quickly grasp the whole situation.
The way we listen, both physically and intuitively, is the basis for the names selected for the four perceptual styles, referred to in this book as the Four Perceptions: Audio, Visual, Feeler, and Wholistic. One of these styles is your primary Perception, which has the strongest influence on your actions and reactions.
Excerpt from Chapter 14: The Delicate Balance
I loved it when my mother put together a recipe box of all her favorite recipes for me. Any recipes that had been vague, she made careful measurements so there wouldnt be any guesswork on my part. She didnt want me to worry if they would turn out or not. Dont you wish we could have a recipe box filled with precise parenting techniques so we wouldnt worry if our children would turn out okay or not?
As parents and grandparents, sometimes we cant help but wish that each child was born with instructions. Perhaps the next few pages will help you write the instruction manuals for your children Like us, children are born to fulfill their Agreement to lead a meaningful and rewarding life. Balance is the key to keeping this Agreement alive. They need a time to learn, a time to play, and a time to reflect.
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