World War II had been going on for about 4 years when I was born on May 26, 1943. My father had been working since 1940 at the Philadelphia Arsenal as a Machinist first class. His Aunt Mame and Cousin Bernice had somehow helped him get the job. The fact that he was doing work that pertained to the war effort had managed to keep him out of the draft so far.
Shortly after I was born my father and mother took me to the convent to visit with his eighth grade nun, Sister Rose of the Cross. I was told that the sisters made a considerable fuss over me. Then Sister Rose took me into the chapel and laid me upon the altar to present me to God.
Later I would believe that this act is what started a string of events that eventually defined my life.
This book is generally about some of those events. It is not an attempt to be an autobiography. I have no desire to write my life story, as such.
Rather, this is about the God to whom I was presented, and how he has dealt with me throughout my existence.
I did not really want to write this book at all. I have been blessed with many abilities and talents. I am thankful for the gifts of God but recognize that I will be accountable for how I have used the gifts.
There are many passages in the scriptures about stewardship and its responsibilities. If one is given much, then much will be expected in return.
This thought has caused me grave concern over the years for it doesn’t seem to me that He has ever asked me or let me do much with the talents.
As a result, some of my heroes are:
Moses who had to wait 40 years to be told what to do and another 40 years to do what God desired.
Paul, who tried to preach the word of God, had to escape from fellow Christians in a basket, and then had to wait a number of years before being sent out.
John, the Beloved Disciple, who basically stayed within a small community and never was used in the same way as the others in terms of active participation.
It is not that these men didn’t serve God, but rather that they had to wait so long to know what He wanted them to do.
I had gone through a long hiatus and had been praying for some time to know what I should be doing. It seemed that life was just going on and on and that I was expected to wait in silence.
Then, one night, He told me to write. Now, I don’t mean that I had Him standing before me in glory and speaking like His voice was booming from a mountain top. No, it was more like an unspoken, but clear message directly to my mind.
I promptly avoided the issue by trying to ignore the message.
Two days later I again received the admonition to write. My reaction was the same. It was something that I did not want to do. It would be self revealing and probably somewhat embarrassing. Not only didn’t I know what to write, but I had not written anything of consequence in over 10 years.
Two days later, again I was told to write.
I recalled that Jonah in the Bible had tried to fight with God over what He wanted.
Remembering that, I knew that I was in a losing battle – I was going to write. I still didn’t know what, but I would write.
Then I thought of another out. I could write but I didn’t have to do anything with whatever I produced.
I was working on another book at the time and was reviewing what I was doing with the publisher. Somehow I found myself talking about the wrong book. I was not talking about the book that I wanted to have published but the one that I did not even want to do. The publisher’s representative was delighted with what I working on and I practically wound up making commitments on the wrong document.
Still, I didn’t know exactly what to write down, but as I began to give it some thought I became more certain that I was supposed to write this book. At that point an old adversary made it clear to me that I could have whatever I might want if I did not write this work. When that temptation failed to have the desired effect, I was presented with the knowledge of all sorts of dire and awful things that would happen to me if I did write.
I was still reluctant, but more certain than ever that there was no running away. I began to put together ideas of how I would go about doing this book, what I would say, and how I could approach the matter. I was still confused. Finally I prayed to Him “If you want me to write this you’re going to have to tell me what to say. I don’t want to do it. You’re going to have to tell me clearly what you want.” I was in church at the time. Father got up and gave a sermon that included everything that I had been thinking to write down. It was clear to me what I was supposed to do. I pray that I can persevere and am able to carry this out.
Forgive my digression, but I wanted to clear that up before going any further.
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