Chapter 1

Martha Malone rose from her chair beside the sofa, strode up
to the television set rather disgustedly and turned it off, then went
to the kitchen.

Her eyes met a clutter of dishes in the sink waiting to be
done. For some reason, she felt disinclined to begin her kitchen
chores. Besides, she was tired after an unusually rough day at the
office.

Her spirit sagged; there seemed nothing really worthwhile in
her life that could help compensate for the monotony.
As she stood in front of the sink, trying to make up her mind,
she noticed the palm of her hand, then felt it. It was dry and
scaly, a condition caused by constantly doing dishes.
She was still young, but her thirty years seemed more like
forty. She remembered the days during and after her graduation
when she had turned a vigorous and observant eye on the world.
The realities of life had served to influence her character through
the knowledge that she had acquired in college. Her desire then
was that of a normal, budding individual, aspiring for some future
success in a world of keen competition.

From the beginning of her academic experience, she felt the
need for improvement. She had drawn inspiration from the
interesting biographies of illustrious personalities which she read
and studied avidly. Being an opportunity-seeker, she had left no
stone unturned in the course of her efforts to improve her mind.

At nineteen, she had felt the need to be loved; loving others
was a striking trait in her character; it even showed in her
attraction to pets. She recalled her German Shepherd named
Sambo, and her Siamese cat that she called Tigress; but more than
that, she had a profound fondness for children. This was
demonstrated by her willingness to baby-sit for her neighbor's
four-year-old boy whom she adored. She often spent time in her
friend's nursery, talking to the children and entertaining them.

Without being egotistical, she was fully cognizant of her own
charms, both mental and physical. She considered herself in the
category of a discerning person whose outgoing personality could,
if properly exploited, lead to valid self-gratification. In fact, she
expected to discover her own Prince Charming one day. It was a
confidence that emanated from an awareness of herself as a
worthwhile, normal human being.

Suddenly, that feeling of optimism that had uplifted her
mentality, seemed to evaporate into thin air. As she scrubbed the
dishes, she noticed the roundness of her shoulders and the fullness
of her breasts. A little square mirror directly above the sink
reflected her face. She looked closely at the reflection trying to
convince herself that she was still as attractive as she had been
when she was single.

After she finished doing the dishes and wiping her hands, she
returned to the living room, turned on the news channel and
slumped on the sofa. It was seven oclock in the evening and
Josiah had not yet come home from work. He had called her
earlier to say that he would be late -- he had to attend a meeting at
the bank where he worked.

She felt a sense of loneliness. There was a terrible need
inside her and until this moment any fulfillment seemed remote
and unreachable. This unfulfilled need had a smothering effect on
her life as though she was gradually being drained of her
youthfulness and energy.

It had been different at the start; during the first years of their
marriage, they had talked about raising a family, but they were
getting acquainted and were always busy. After that, she became
concerned about the gravity of raising a family. When, after
several months she did not conceive, she finally pressured her
husband into undergoing a course of treatments to increase his
low sperm count; this deficiency, she felt, was the cause of her
inability to become pregnant. She kept trying to get him to
accompany her to a fertility clinic, but he had resisted that.

Deep in thought, she faintly heard the key turn in the door
lock and Josiah entered the house, looking tired.

"Hi, Sweetheart," he greeted her, as he closed the door
behind him. "Sorry to be so late. Did you eat dinner already?"

"No, I waited for you," she smiled.

"You shouldn't have. I had to join some of the guys in the
office and they brought in some hamburgers."

"You should have said something about that when you
called," she chided.

"I'm sorry. I was tied up in that meeting almost all day, and
when it was finally over, the food was brought in and I joined
them. It happened fast and I had no time to call back."

She understood. "Did you have a good day, otherwise?" she
asked.

"Can't say I did, in fact, it was lousy."

"That bad?"

"That bad," he sighed. He went over and kissed her gently
on the lips.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "You're all I care about. You
compensate for the ups and downs in the office. Besides, every
road has some kind of a turn sooner or later."

"I'm afraid we'll have to cover a lot more mileage before we
arrive at that turn, my dear," she answered.

She did not care for his philosophy, though she never stopped
renewing her hopes. Of course, there was that single, most
important hope in her life that she continued to nurture -- the hope
that some day she would become pregnant and have a baby.

He sat down beside her and took her hand in his. Well, now
that we've finished with the preliminaries, why don't I make a
suggestion? he said.

"Go ahead, I'm always ready to listen."