Heidi and I would have many conversations in our tree house, and we were falling more and more in love all the time. Heidi was particularly interested in my family, especially Sonja, who was about her age. I still attended the Hitler Youth meetings, and now we were to go on a week long training session. Heidi was just about a month away from having her baby, and she wanted me to be with her when she had it. I told her that I would be back in plenty of time to be with her.
It was now 1945, the war was going badly for Germany. The Russians were starting to invade the eastern border, and our training session involved mostly defensive maneuvers to repel advancing forces. After the week was up, Kurt said we could go home but be prepared for action if the Russians reached Berlin. It looked like I might be involved in the war. Now some of the younger boys (12 & 13) begin to receive some serious training. I was anxious to get home to be with Heidi but was totally unprepared for what awaited me.
Mrs. Kruger said that Heidi had went into labor prematurely. She had a seemingly healthy baby boy, but it was a little jaundiced and a little premature. An SS officer was here and decided that the baby should be euthanized and that Heidi should be sterilized. A doctor performed the operation on Heidi here yesterday. "Heidi was terribly despondent and complaining of stomach pains. This morning she was not in her bed. We have looked for her all day but we can't find her. Maybe you know where she might be, Max." I knew that Heidi was probably in our tree house at our secret hideaway waiting for me. I didn't know what I would say to her. Maybe I would think of something on the way. It was a mute point, there would be no need for words.When I reached the pond, my worst fears were realized. I could see Heidi hanging from a rope below our tree house. She had apparently tied a crude loop around her neck with one of the ropes we used for our rope ladder and simply stepped off the platform. I was overcome with emotion and felt like I was about to pass out. I sat down to regain my composure, and in a few minutes regained enough strength to climb up in the tree house, cut the rope and lower Heidi to the ground. There was a note pinned to Heidi's blouse.
Dear Max, Please forgive me, I am not strong like you. The pain is simply too great. They have killed my baby and sterilized me. Now I could never be a proper wife to you. These last six months with you have been the best time of my life. Max, if you have to fight for these Nazis, do everything you can to survive. They are not worth dieing for. Remember Chauncey and our baby. I would like to be buried beneath our tree house with baby Max, if you could arrange it. I know I will see you in Heaven someday. I loved you with all my heart. Heidi Snow
I would carry this note with me for the rest of my life. Now, I would carry Heidi's cold, lifeless, body the approximately one kilometer back to the Lebensborn home. She seemed incredibly light. I told the Krugers about Heidi's request to be buried with her baby beneath our tree house. Mr. Kruger said he would help me build a coffin, and we could dig up the baby that he had buried yesterday while they were operating on Heidi. Mrs. Kruger said there probably wasn't that much wrong with the baby. She had seen several jaundiced babies in her time, and they usually would recover on their own in a few days. We built the coffin, and I dug up the baby. It was covered with dirt, so I washed it and wrapped it in a blue baby blanket that the Lebensborn organization had provided. The girls cleaned Heidi up and put a clean white dress on her. I spent about a half a day digging the grave beneath our tree house. We put Heidi in the coffin. I layed the baby on Heidi's chest and folded her arms over him. I gave her one final kiss, and we nailed the lid on the coffin. Mr. Kruger and I carried the coffin to the tree house. Mrs. Kruger and the girls followed along, and we had a simple service before we buried Heidi and the baby. I would spend the next day carving a simple marker to be placed at the head of the grave. Heidi Snow, born January 1st, 1928, died April 10th, 1945. Infant son, Max, died at birth. I vowed that someday, I would come back and give her a proper monument.
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