CHAPTER ONE
“Are you scared?” Rahim whispered to his older brother, but Osman didn’t answer or perhaps he hadn’t heard him. After all, the rumbling of the old boat engine made for poor acoustics. Rahim sank lower onto the hard planking, resting his elbows on his knees and rubbing his eyes with his fingers. His enthusiasm for this adventure was rapidly waning. Before leaving coastal Puntland in the refurbished vessel, the Somalian men had been chewing khat, an amphetamine-like stimulant harvested from local plants. The addictive narcotic had kept the men awake and fervent, but now the rhythmic bobbing in the sea was taking a toll. Rahim, this being his first time on a boat, squirmed in his seat. Friends of his brother had recruited him to join them, and Rahim, who was just past his seventeenth birthday, had agreed. Neither he nor Osman had seen any future at home, a lawless, poverty stricken farm area. The other men, who were from coastal towns and were mostly sons of the elder fishermen, had promised wealth and a chance to become famous and powerful. Twenty-two-year-old Osman had met the men during trips to town to buy supplies and now, here they were, in a refitted ancient fishing boat, looking for a future. “I feel a little sick,” said Rahim, a little louder this time, raising his head and nudging Osman’s muscular ribcage with his elbow. The men were so closely sardined into the rocking boat that Osman could feel his brother’s desperate attempts to hold back retching and the churning bile. Rahim’s black skin was gray in the reflection of the moonlit sea. Their eyes met and Rahim’s heavily lashed lids were wide with anxiety. Worry and nerves had overcome the initial excitement of the journey. “Don’t think about it,” answered Osman, protectively slipping his arm around his younger brother’s waist. “You’ll be fine once we get there and it begins. Just think about all the money! We’ll be rich!” He looked down at Rahim, perfect white teeth flashing his brother a familiar confident grin. Rahim nodded in silence and tried closing his eyes, not daring to rest his head on his brother’s shoulder while under the scrutiny of the others. It was time to ‘man up’ as the others had taunted. He avoided all of them as best he could, especially the man who stared at him and licked his lips like a drooling dog ready to bounce on a scrap of meat. Osman would keep him safe, just like the time he’d pulled him away from the attack two years ago. Those men…he didn’t want to think about it. Homosexuality was a capital crime, yet the men…it was hard remembering what they’d done to him. If it hadn’t been for Osman, he’d be dead right now. Osman was the big handsome one that all the girls followed. Rahim was small and almost beautiful, too thin and delicate to be considered a real man, he knew. But he was smart, intelligent and curious, and wanted to go back to school, if he only could. He had learned English from an uncle who used to teach school, when there were schools to go to in Somalia. He often wondered what school in America would be like. He wanted to learn, but there were no school buildings now and no one to teach him. Rahim loved and trusted his brother and he agreed this was the only way to get any money, to have a life worth living. Osman must be right. He was always right. They needed to help their family. Their mother, grandmother, and three sisters were left at home struggling just to survive. They seldom saw their father. The men in the village were all the same. No longer warriors, no longer courageous and bold. Instead, khat consumed their time and their minds. The women did the chores, raised the children, and provided for their families. Most Somalian women also had to work outside the home at any job or craft they could devise. Rahim had vowed not to be that kind of man, like his father, yet was he not already chewing khat? It didn’t matter, he thought, it was just this one time. Then his family would have everything. Live in a big house, have plenty of food, have servants to wait on them. He must do what he must do. He sat tall and took in a big breath of sea air, breathing in manhood, exhaling boyhood.
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