HOW TO PICK UP UGLY WOMEN AND BE ABLE TO RESPECT YOURSELF IN THE MORNING
We have already expressed our belief that men who pick up ugly women are by far the happiest. There are numerous advantages to this choice. These unwanted women are in every bar, shop, and restaurant, and even in the smallest of cities number in the thousands. Most of these girls are desperately seeking dates, and when they meet a guy they’re eager to please. There’s no involved planning or stressing to make the right impression. Nearly all of them will gladly pay for the date or share in the expenses. Most of the time you can even skip the date! Sometimes there are even gifts given for services rendered, nice expensive items like the ones we bestow on the beautiful girls we feel so fortunate to be with. Fat girls are warm in bed, and since they don’t get the chance for sex too often, they’re probably far safer. They are kind, warm, and considerate; traits completely lacking in ourselves, and in general, most pretty women. Probably best of all, there’s no competition! So for these and other reasons, the smart man would stay away from good-looking babes. Now, let’s suppose that one of three things happens. First, after pursuing the snobbish pretty women, you’ve seen the light and decided to chase after friendlier, trouble-free, ugly game. Second, it’s very late in the evening, and the only luck you’ve had was this girl with a rough looking face, but a do-able body. Or, lastly, you just woke up alongside a repulsive sow, and you haven’t got a clue how you got there! As women well know, (and constantly express), men are creatures of unabashed lust. Our glands have barely evolved since we took our first step on the evolutionary ladder. We are more or less ruled by that five inch or so appendage that has no knowledge of an occurrence called aftershock. Wherever that thing points, we follow to whatever cruel fate awaits us. With this in mind, we need to appease whatever bit of conscience that will from time to time nag us. So, why not reason that we were beings created with a pervasive drive to reproduce and are just following our natural instincts? God gave us this uncontrollable urge, it’s not our fault, we’re doing what we were put here to do. All my friends bring home ugly women, why not me? After all, they seem happy; they are seldom alone and live stress free. You never see them take guff from women, and unlike you, they’re masters of their own lives. Here’s another way to look at it, which in a way is actually true. You’re providing a service! After all, we all know ugly girls need company and sexual attention. Someone is going to do it, probably an ugly guy, so why shouldn’t you be the one. You’re just being kind, always ready to give, and showing affection to those in need – In reality you are ‘The Good Samaritan of Love!’ But what happens if your moral fortitude is stronger than the slimy cads who wrote this book? All these previous points have merit, but try as you will, they’re still not completely acceptable. There’s the old line, “I was drunk at the time, I couldn’t tell.” No, can’t use that one, everyone says that and they’re still laughed at. It’s safe to say that when you come down to the bottom line, your major concern is being found out. Deny it, but that’s usually the problem. You have to protect the ‘rep.’ This involves a more complex solution. First, you must find a bar that’s a distance from your home. The location should be far from your normal stomping grounds so the chance of being seen by friends and acquaintances is remote. This also gives you an excuse to stay at her place, and even if you have to bring her to your pad, she’ll probably never remember the way back. You can easily improve on that assumption. When she’s in your car, make plenty of false turns, thereby making it difficult for her to return and haunt you. Try different styles of clothing or wear a fake mustache to conceal your identity. Use a fictitious name and never make the mistake of telling her where you work. If you choose to go back to your place, distract her when you pass the street sign by your residence. Install detachable house numbers and remove them prior to going out. Another good ploy is telling her that you’re staying with a friend who’s out of town while they repaint your apartment. Or better yet, have the key to a friend’s place to defile in his absence. Okay, now a practical exercise. You’ve found a bar. We’ll call it the ‘Pig Pen.’ You made your pitch, and sure enough, one accepts, (hardly surprising). Now, leave the place as discreetly as possible. Perhaps tell her to wait a few minutes inside while you warm the car. You could also tell her that you’re seeing someone, (she probably won’t care), and you have to call her and tell her you won’t be coming over. That also provides you an out to be used later. In either case, you’ll be outside waiting. This way you’re not seen leaving with her, (good for denials), and you can make a fast getaway. You wait scrunched down in your seat, discreetly using your hand to veil your face should anyone you know pass by. She comes out a few minutes later, and you pull alongside of her, let her load aboard and scoot out the parking lot. Take the long, indirect route to your home. Don’t forget the extra turns and go quickly past street signs. Okay, phase I is over, she’s at your apartment. You’re not on the road and it’s safe to drink again. As soon as you’re inside slug down a few, even more if her looks demand it. Important point - turn on only the dimmest lights as you make your way towards the bedroom. Your stomach will thank you later. Once in bed, tell her that you like it better with the lights off. Then, close your eyes and fantasize. Maybe you’re into kinky habits, and have a mask about the house, which would make it more bearable. Now stand by for a wild night.
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