“Lesser, I demand to know! Did you follow all my instructions?” “Yeah...” “No yeah! YES SIR AND SIEG HEIL!” “O.K. YES SIR AND SIEG HEIL. I’m sorry.” “Sorry? I don’t want your goddamn I’m sorry pity! Don’t you dare pity me! That is an order! I do not permit pity! Even though I have been wronged by the entire world. The sound of my name ADOLPH HITLER still sends a shivering cold out into the frightened world. Well, I’m back and if I could conquer the world once I can do it twice and I will!” “I’m sure Boss.” “But if by following you THEY have found me? I am...” “Dead! Dead! Dead! I knew already! A million times you’ve told me! But not to worry it went just as you planned. I took the 2:00 AM empty Third Avenue Bus from Forty-Second Street to Ninety-Sixth Street. Three round trips with no one else on board but me. So here I am ‘Mister Shine on a dime right on time!’ at the Grand Central Station Information Booth. Ya got my money?” “Because if just one smart secret agent at Mossad/HQ Tel Aviv suspects I’m still alive I am...” “I know already! Dead! Dead! Dead! Mister Hitler, just one small favor. You’ve been paying me in those old antique one thousand dollar bills the U.S. Treasury stopped printing a million years ago. Very hard for me to get my bank to break them. Don’t you have anything smaller?” “You! You goddamn dumb American idiot! You stupid brainless fool! Do you really think I care a Rat’s Ass Fuck about your tiny problem? You are wasting my precious time while I’m paying you Big Money to be my literary agent, to get this IMPORTANT TO THE ENTIRE WORLD BOOK published by a New York City publisher. Don’t paste your silly stinking problems on my skin! I have my own.” “NOW, I WANT...I DEMAND...I, ADOLPH HITLER, ORDER: This book will be published in a ten million print run and be retailed at book stores for less than ten cents.” “But Boss, no book...” “But this is not a book! It is the Last Chance Survival Manual for every man, woman and child on this planet Earth. Each facing a horrible, painful death in the next ten minutes!” “Was this one of your secrets?” “Yes. But now, for the first time, everything will be revealed and everyone will know!” “Know what?” “The truth about Adolph Hitler! BY Adolph Hitler!” “SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP! Both of you! I can’t and won’t listen to anymore of this goddamn crap! I am the New York City publisher o this book and...” “Do you know who you are interrupting? I am the Great Adolph Hitler! How dare you?” “I dare because I must warm the POOR UNFORTUNATE BUYER AND READER OF THIS BOOK who just bought this book but can still return...” “How dare you? You’re shoving me! Keep your goddamn hands off me! You’re shoving me right out of my own book! Goddamn you Lesser you were followed! By him! He followed you here and found me!” “Impossible Boss. There was no one else on that bus but me!” “AND the bus driver.” “You?” “Yes me!” “Let me get a good look at your face... Yes, you were the...” “AM the bus driver. Tricked ya!” “And one of THEM too?” “And one of THEM too.” “I’m DEAD! What do you want?” “For you two deep shitters to sit down in that corner and shut your mouths tight while I talk directly to the POOR UNFORTUNATE BUYER AND READER OF THIS BOOK. YOU POOR UNFORTUNATE: Alas! Please forgive me! I know I’m too late. You’ve already bought this book. Believe me I’m not predicting the following horrors will happen. But they might! Bought it but don’t dare read it? Because it is a well known, medically proven, fact that reading it will cause large Puss Pimples to grow on your ass. By the time you’ve finished reading the whole book your Puss Pimples will have grown so large you’ll never be able to sit down again. Sit and you’ll squash them! Gooey gooey and ugh! Squashed. Their awful, powerful stink will cause the glass in your bedroom window to melt, the paint to fall off the walls onto the backs of large mice, larger rats and Black Widow poisonous spiders fleeing your apartment into the fresh air and the freedom of death under automobile tires in the street. Worse! In order not to squash them, you’ll have to learn to sleep standing up hanging from a rope mounted to the ceiling. Alas! You might slide down in your sleep, go bang on the floor, burst your Puss Pimples and break all the bones in your ass. Desperate to prevent that, you wrap the rope around your neck, hanging yourself and waking up in the morning dead! IF YOU READ THIS BOOK!!! But worse! Much worse! In the apartment directly above you there is a young perfect fifteen year old female, potential Atlantic City Beauty Contest Winner, priest certified virgin Catholic Girl Scout masturbating so vigorously her bed is shaking into pieces and her floor above you is trembling with the warnings of a Japanese Nuclear Earthquake Volcano Tornado Tidal Wave Meteor from Outer Space your drunken wife’s losing her temper explosion! All that combined with your 650 pound weight on the rope weakens your ceiling/her floor. It collapses plunging her naked body into your arms. SHE is the EXTREMIS OF SEXUALIS DELERIUM MOLITUS superglues the tip of your tongue to her clitoris...forever! Rams your hard cock up her cunt hold and screams, “Finish me off!” Finish me off POOR UNFORTUNATE BOOK READER!! And you do! You satisfy her Young Female Lust on Fire so well she refuses to leave, superglues her naked as to your mattress and since yours is a narrow single bed you are forced to sleep on top of a beautiful fifteen year old girl Monday all week through Sunday!...Again...and again!
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