THE JOY OF BEING IRRELEVANT
When you dont have much to do, And youve got nowhere important to go; You might as well cool your heels, Kick back and go with the flow.
When your opinion doesnt matter, And your input is no longer sought; Be glad youre out of the loop, Its not as bad as you once thought.
Because no one cares when youre gone, And the phone stops ringing off the hook. Theres no more stress or worry, Ten years younger you will look.
THE QUEEN OF QUID PRO QUO
Im the Queen of Quid Pro Quo; If you need something come see me. Im a very important person, An indispensable commodity.
Im the Countess of Cubicle Castle; I never skip a beat. No matter whos in charge, I always land on my two feet.
Im the Princess of Partition Paradise; Ill do anything to get my way. Plot, scheme or finagle; Office politics is my forte.
TAKING IT WITH ME
They say we enter this world with nothing, And in the end well leave with nothing in tow. But if I cant take mine with me, I think Ill just refuse to go!
I mean whats the point of living, If your worldly possessions you cant keep. All that wasted time and effort, Its more than enough to disturb your sleep.
OPPORTUNITY LOST
We could have, we should have; But somehow we just didnt do it. We had our chance, to find romance; But our hearts were too guarded to risk it. So well never know, if love could grow; Because time and circumstance now preclude it.
A FATHERS REFLECTION
Like the looking glass surface of still, dark water; You will always be a reflection of me. Not the perfect likeness found in a mirrors gaze; Yet still clear enough for others to see.
For whatever you do, and whatever you become; Ill be judged for the influence Ive been. So do not think your life is only yours to live; The child will reveal a glimpse of the father within.
BRAIN-DEAD AT SEVENTEEN
She wants her freedom To do as she pleases. With each passing day My frustration increases.
Weve been so close For all these many years. Now we cant talk Without arguments and tears.
IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE ME
Feast your eyes on me, Im the envy of all. Daddys about to present me At the Debutante Ball.
Im wearing my designer gown, And a tiara in my hair. Check out these long white gloves, Hold that mirror while I stare.
Im not particularly pretty, Somewhat big-boned as you can see. But it doesnt really matter, Because my family is old money.
BITTERSWEET REUNION
Just look at the gray hair, And everyones gotten so fat. Back at my high school reunion, Who would ever imagine that!
All these vaguely familiar people, So old and out of shape. Hard to believe its been so long, Or how quickly youth escapes.
Could that be our Senior Class Beauty; Oh what a sobering sight. Her sexy hourglass figure Has turned into rolls of cellulite.
And get a load of our star quarterback; His poor wife stands bored at his side. He keeps reliving his gridiron exploits; She keeps looking for somewhere to hide.
DISCOURSE ON LYING
You little twerp; you lied to my face! You looked me squarely in the eye, And then you lied.
I knew you were lying. You knew I knew you were lying; Yet, you did it anyway.
Little white lies; Big, fat lies. Whatever suits your purpose.
BIG SISTER WAS AN ONLY CHILD
Big sister was an only child, The center of Mom and Dads attention. Then one day baby brother arrived, Her reaction was too ugly to mention.
Needless to say I was never forgiven, Complicating her life in such a dreadful way. The usual period of jealousy and resentment, Never diminished at all from that very first day.
NO FAIR
Greasy food, And greasy hair. Carnival rides; Its another Alabama State Fair!
Racing pigs, And a petting zoo. Toothless grins; Body piercings and a scummy tattoo.
PERFECT LOVE REVISITED
Love is patient, And also kind. Love is even tempered, Not eager to show its behind.
Love is not boastful, Never arrogant or proud. Love is not vain or self-centered, Seeking others praises out loud.
Love is not envious, Or prone to hold a grudge. Love doesnt feel its duty Is to be our neighbors judge.
Love takes no pleasure in malice, Instead goodness and compassion abound. Love doesnt get its jollies From jerking other people around.
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