SEARCH
I search for wormwood for Peyote along the valley for Ramos Gin Fizz inside cool, dark Royale Street bars
I look for Spengler for the Pre-Raphaelites for Ray Charles on original label inside musty walk up thrift shops
I stay up late for transcendence for elixirs and esoterica for passion and majesty inside the democratic social clubs of the village
I walk through Chinatown the Skidmore Pioneer Square and Cow Hollow searching for friends in the cracks
I cook rabbit in hot oil and take yoga class to meet girls I speak French but dream in Italian and write by hand, still, to feel the cramps
I follow elderly Chinese gentlemen upstairs after buying roots and herbs for my skin and stealing free samples from the clinic after making 50 bucks from Columbia for standing naked before cameras
I find turgid hot springs, majestic in natural splendor far from tourists waterfalls, where the college kids drink beer and lagoons kissed by the sun
I work on stinking boats full of fish I work on hot burning roofs/ in noisy camps full of lumber, wet mossy cedar I work in high dark theatres far from the crowds I work in palatial ballrooms throughout the lit city, fallen from grace I work on timber frame houses, swinging a hammer while Johnny D talks about the pussy I work beside the pool in summer madhouse resorts where the girls, not old enough to swear steal my clothes I work behind colorful curtains while horses trample circus rings on table saws and routers, wood, steel and fabric on marble and bone smuggled across borders on stained glass and cardboard, piano and guitar in bars with character; quartz bulbs and steel cable I work with a loaded brush; on muslin and duck canvas; sandpaper muted pastel With microphones and mobile stages driving quick vans through the downtown streets I love racing old cars in demolition for the glory I play guitar in the bathroom for the vibes and sing under deserted bridges I dance in mock combat with each passing train
--I have found many of the things I have wanted more often in disguise, hidden and subtle
I search for life and it finds me but I have yet to find sweet green Absinthe, verdant with illumination of wormwood and the peace that it brings and the love that loves
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