America is steeped in Judeo-Christian tradition, and the impact of the Bible upon our society is pervasive. Christians and non-Christians alike are at least vaguely familiar with biblical stories such as Adam and Eve, Noah and the Ark, and the death and resurrection of Jesus. But few people have actually read the Bible cover-to-cover, which makes it relatively easy for Christian leaders to pick and choose among verses in the Scriptures to promote their own agendas.

Contrary to what some of these leaders would have us believe, there is not a single verse in the Bible that explicitly comments on sexual relations between two men or two women who are involved in a consensual, egalitarian, and loving relationship. And while the Bible provides spiritual inspiration to millions of people, it simply does not provide a cohesive or reliable guide for ethics in general or sexual ethics in particular. To be sure, the Bible contains some extraordinarily laudable ethical ideals, such as Jesus’ exhortations to “love your neighbor as yourself,” and to “do to others as you would have them do to you.” However, the Bible also contains many ethical pronouncements that are based upon various assumptions regarding the world, human beings, and social relationships that few modern Christians accept. For example, few Christians advocate polygamy, intra-family marriage, genocide, slavery, the stoning to death of children who curse their parents, or the forced marriage of female virgins captured from defeated enemies. Yet these practices were perfectly acceptable to biblical authors. Indeed, the Bible depicts God as directing such activities, and blessing those who engaged in them. And although some Christians believe that the kingdom of God is still at hand—albeit some 2,000 years later than Jesus or Paul seem to have anticipated—few believe that marriage should be avoided in favor of celibacy and itinerant living, and few men feel “defiled” by having sex with their wives. The opinions of the male biblical authors were necessarily based upon the patriarchal and misogynistic milieus that existed when they were alive. Indeed, gender hierarchy was so pervasive that that it is simply impossible to know how biblical authors would have viewed sexuality in general and homosexuality in particular, if men and women shared a more egalitarian social status, as we do today.

There are and always have been people who are not heterosexual. We have been here throughout human history, we are here now, and we will continue to be here in the future. We are African-Americans, Caucasians, Asians, and Hispanics. We are mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, friends, and neighbors. We are doctors, teachers, lawyers, soldiers, social workers, salespeople, and rock stars. The believers among us pray in churches, synagogues, mosques, temples, and in quiet solitude. Contrary to the claims of some Christians, we do not want “special rights.” We simply want to live lives free from discrimination. We want people to like us or dislike us based upon who we are as individuals. We do not want to be judged as “deviant,” “depraved,” “disordered,” “perverted,” “pathological,” or “sick” by people who have never even met us. Nor do we want to be merely “tolerated”—as if there is something wrong with us that people must deign to look past or put up with.

In a world full of so much hatred and violence, why can’t we just celebrate love between two people? Isn’t the desire to touch, hold, caress, and have sex with someone a natural and healthy part of our lives? Isn’t this the stuff of poetry, and love songs? Isn’t this one of the most amazing gifts of God/nature—the ability to love and be loved, and to share our most intimate selves with one another? Why should the love between two people be disparaged just because we are the same sex? And why should our families be denied the same respect, dignity, and benefits that heterosexual families enjoy through marriage? I have never heard logical explanations, and I am confident that I never will.

I am also confident that it is only a matter of time before homophobia and discrimination against homosexual people will be looked upon as a shameful part of American history. I expect that future generations will be absolutely shocked when they first learn that there was a time when loving homosexual couples were called “depraved,” and denied the right to marry—much like people in our generation were shocked when we first learned that our country enslaved African Americans, treated women like property, and denied both groups of people the right to vote.

I am hopeful that churches which currently condemn homosexual marriage will one day discard the narrow and imaginary definition of “family values” in favor of a definition that includes all loving couples who want to commit their lives to one another for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Perhaps such churches will also issue an apology to the millions of homosexual people whose lives and loves are devalued based in large measure upon the misuse and manipulation of Scripture. In the meantime, I hope that this book provides some useful information for people wishing to defend themselves, their families, their friends, or their neighbors against Bible-based attacks.