Kiss Three Reasons Why Teens Engage In Sex
Ignorance
Ignorance simply means you lack knowledge. You are unaware, uninformed, uneducated on a matter. There’s a saying that what you don’t know won’t hurt, but I beg to differ. What you don’t know can and will hurt you. Ignorance is weakness and knowledge is power! If you’re ignorant, people will tell you anything, and chances are you will believe it. Sex education should start in the home. It is the responsibility of your parents and/or guardians to inform you properly. My mother and I never had a conversation about sex. I wish we would have because I’ve faithfully held on to other truths she’s given me which I believe helped make me the person I am today. In my family, sex wasn’t talked about and considered to be a bad or dirty thing when actually it was created by God to be beautiful. I didn’t go to my senior prom for financial reasons according to my mother. I discovered later on that she was trying to prevent the possibility of my having sex. If my mom had been connected to me and my world, she would have known I had already had sex; therefore, I missed my prom as a result of her trying to keep me from doing something I had already done. What I thought I knew about sex came from other girls talking about it at school. In ninth grade I remember being in the cafeteria having lunch with some friends. One of the girls said “I’m glad it’s Friday because I gotta get me some.” I was sitting there trying to figure out what she was talking about. We had just finished our lunch so I was thinking “more pizza?” I was totally clueless! The more they talked, the more revelation I got. It took a while but I finally realized they were talking about sex. I was stunned to say the least! I was new to the school and where we moved from kids weren’t talking about sex, especially in the schools. We were playing hop scotch, braiding each others hair and learning to cook! Your knowledge about sex (well-informed, healthy knowledge) should come from the home, but if that is not possible, there has to be someone you can trust to have those conversations with. You must talk about it! In the event that no one talks to you, there are too many avenues for you to get sound information. There’s public facilities that have brochures and information that is free to you. It’s 2011, and ignorance should not be the reason you make a decision to have sex. Educate yourself and get as much information as you possibly can. This book is a great start! Know your body and all its parts and their functions. My stuck-on-stupid moments were simply out of ignorance. I just didn’t know! No one communicated to me in details like I am speaking to you. Some mother-daughter relationships are very healthy and open. The communication between them is great; nothing is off limits. However, not all relationships are so open, and unfortunately, the openness sometimes comes only after the pregnancy, after the abortion, after the sexual abuse or after the broken heart. Empower yourself now! When you finish reading this book, you should have enough information to help you make good decisions. You will no longer be able to say, “I didn’t know that.” You have no more excuses; you are now responsible for your actions.
Peer Pressure Peer pressure is the burden of physical or mental distress placed on you by your peers, people just like you. That would include boyfriends or girlfriends, although it’s possible for adults to apply pressure as well. If your boyfriend is continuing to “sweat” you about giving up “the cookie,” he’s exercising peer pressure. If your girlfriends are “sweating” you about giving up “the cookie,” they are exercising peer pressure. If you say no to sex and that is your final answer, you shouldn’t feel pressured to change your mind. You can’t waiver and start questioning and doubting your decision. Don’t try to prove your love by giving in: this is not love. He’ll probably remind you that everybody else is doing it and say, “If you love me, you’ll do it,” or the most common, “I’m breaking up with you.” If that is his decision, let him break up with you; he’ll only be doing you a favor. No more pressure for sex right? He’s gone; let him go. If he truly loves you, (love is patient and kind) he will respect your decision and back off. It is not the end of the world if he breaks up with you. Know who you are and be confident in your decision not to have sex. With any decision you’re faced with, whether it’s about sex or something as simple as what to wear or how to style your hair, make it a sound decision. Once you give it away, you can’t take it back!
• Did you give in to the pressure to have sex? • If yes, how did you feel afterwards? • Is the guy you had sex with still your boyfriend?
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